Launching

Launching your kids into adulthood is not an easy task.  Obviously, the practical things are important: finances, life skills like cleaning and time management. Do they know how to avoid pitfalls when they have complete freedom? All of that is super important, but what I’m talking about is the letting go. The emotional part. And sometimes the years leading up to that aren’t ideal. We were living “on the road” in a travel trailer. My (then) 17 year old daughter didn’t come with us. She was attending community college and working. If I’d we had made her come with us it would have stunted her. But staying without her family also wasn’t ideal. It caused a lot of pain for her. My (then) 15 year old son DID have to come with us. And leave behind a girlfriend, his friend group, etc. When he turned 16 we had to make some big decisions. He had opportunities to work come up (construction for good friends) and we decided to let him make an 8 hour drive alone. Across west Texas. If you’ve not been there…desert. Plus navigating San Antonio alone. At barely 16. That’s not how I would have imagined parenting at those ages. I’ve graduated and released 2 into the world. One is married with babies now-and has ended up close to us. And one lives 1000 miles away. I worry about him. I pray for him. A lot. He’s not mine to control. Nor do I want to. But that grown man was once my baby. I nursed him. I held him. I helped him through horrible episodes of croup. Then I let him go on scout camping trips. Then the driving alone across Texas. Then he did an amazing trip at 17 with his best friend. Try letting go on that one? But it was then or never. He left the same week as my 2 youngest went to camp-the youngest for the first time ever with no friends in the group of boys going. That week was huge for me. I guess a core memory. And I found out one of my closest friends criticized me and said it wasn’t normal to be that attached to your kids. Another core memory. I have 2 more to launch into this crazy world. Thankfully they are having more of a traditional life. And I hope the launch is more traditional. I let the now 16 year old drive where she needs to drive. I let out enough rope and pray it’s not enough for her to hang herself. My kids don’t deserve to have their growth and life stunted by any anxieties I might have. But it’s not easy. Have grace for those friends who are making huge strides in letting go. Just because I didn’t like it and I was a nervous mess, I did it anyways. I did it for my kids. And isn’t that the definition of bravery? Doing it scared?