Where Everybody Knows Your Name 🎶

...and theyre always glad you came. Do those lyrics ring any bells? While the show (Cheers, if you didn't know) may not have had the best values to emulate {cringe}, who can't agree with that sentiment? I feel like, in all stages of life, knowing and being known are so important to all of us. Maybe, if you're more of an introvert, you just need one or two people to know you well. An extrovert might really need to feel known and seen by a larger group. I've been a child and teenager, and am now raising my third and fourth children/teenagers. I'm in my, ahem, late 40s. Not much is more painful for any stage of life than feeling unnoticed, unknown, unaccepted, and worse, unwanted. On the show I mentioned, when a certain person would walk in to the bar, everyone would call out his name and the bartender always knew what he wanted. While I don't recommend seeking that out in a bar setting, it just seems amazing to think of being known and noticed like that. What if we treated people like that regularly? What if we took the time to notice when they are there or not. What they like or don't like? What if we paid attention to those around us and they knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they are valued, noticed, accepted-the man in the show wasn't super successful, he wasn't the fittest, best looking, or best dressed. But he was acknowledged, welcomed HEARTILY, and known. When someone walks into church, their home, a meeting...what if we greeted them like they mattered? It could make a difference.

Twenty-Nine

Twenty nine years holds a lot. Saturday (the 26th of August), Harold and I celebrated our 29th anniversary. I look back and I cant believe it's been 29 years. Years filled with joy, laughter, good times. But also, sadness, heart ache and hard times. I never want to sugar-coat marriage or life. We can look for (and at) the positive, while still being honest and real. Twenty-nine looks like: growing pains-growing up is hard, whether you do it single or married, living apart for work, infertility plus pregnancy loss, health scares, pregnancy, parenthood (lack of sleep), moves, financial hardships, not always agreeing on the next steps for your family but figuring it out anyways, launching kids-and worrying about them a LOT, growing older and reconciling that and all it means, walking through the deaths of parents and grandparents with each other, welcoming grandbabies... And in the midst of all of that there are the day to day things. Joking, laughing, hard work, frustrations, trips for ice cream, deep talks, not so deep talks... If I sugarcoat this, if I make it sound like it's all sunshine and snuggles, I would do a disservice to others. This isnt a social media image perfected with filters. Real life is good and bad, happy and sad. I want my kids to know that we love each other and it's not always easy. But it's worth it. That we don't have it perfected but we won't stop trying. That the bad times will pass if you keep choosing to love each other and work at it. We are just two imperfect people choosing to love each other for better or for worse.

Upper Peninsula Beauty

I love to travel. It is life giving for me. I always say if I won the lottery (not that I play more than once a year), I would not want a huge house, fancy cars or "things". My winnings would be spent on travel. My preference is road trips. I'm not a fan of flying in particular-not because I'm afraid, I just hate the process. It's tedious, plus I like more control than flying allows. So, we try to take vacations with the kids every year. Sometimes close and sometimes far! This year we went to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I LOVED it! We were so blessed to miss the haze from the Canadian Wildfires-it was an issue before we were there as well as after. Our main activities on this trip were a full day (guided) kayaking tour around Pictured Rocks (Lake Superior) and a Glassbottom Boat Shipwreck Tour. (Believe it or not, the boats we had to power ourselves were way more expensive than the other ;) )

My favorite pictures from the shipwreck tour had nothing to do with shipwrecks and everything to do with the lighthouse we saw. If the shipwrecks had had more human interest stories (people who were on the ships, etc) I would have liked them a lot more. But the lighthouse sparked my curiosity with the story of a family being dropped off each spring.

We went on some relaxed "hikes" (more like walks).

And we ate some great PIZZA (not as easy when you're searching for gluten free)! And this ice cream was as good as you imagine with no nutritional information! :p

All in all, we had a great trip (just don't ask me about traveling with dogs-my answer will not be a happy one).

Gardening. A Tale of Neglect.

I don't even know how it happened. Or why. I have a couple of ideas but none of them are valid excuses. My garden is BAD. Ever heard of "pig weed"? My garden is FULL of it.

I have tried to get it back under control a few times. But it's like one step forward and three steps backward. I can almost (but not literally-because I hate the overuse of that word) hear the weeds popping up. "Pop" "Pop" "Pop pop pop" And then my back, neck and shoulder hurt for DAYS. Literally.  My would be excuses: 1) We didn't get any rain for so long I thought it was a lost cause. My rain barrel was even empty. 2) Vacation 3) I started a new job. I'm just waiting tables part time but I've mostly been a stay at home wife and mom for 23 years! And I'm in the learning curve for managing my house work and garden. And my introvertedness. And making time for my husband, kids and grandbabies! But none of that really matters. I planted a garden. And I'm so mad at myself for dropping the ball on it. And yet...

So, it looks as if I will get some yield from my garden despite my negligence. 凉

The Plans He Has For Us

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you…plans to prosper you and not to harm you. I know how most people read this verse, as a reassurance. A reassurance that nothing gets past God and that He has a good plan for His people. That He works everything for our good. And that’s true. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s true. But something occurred to me this morning. What if it also means that His plans are good for us. They are plans to prosper us and not to bring us to harm. So we should follow those plans. I’ve seen time and time again how when we step outside of His will, including the guardrails He sets up for us, it leads to pain and fruitless times. I’ve seen it in my own life and I’ve seen it in the lives of others. I’m not saying that if you follow God your life will be roses and sunshine. It won’t. I promise. There are examples in the Bible (Job for one, Paul for another) of the troubles that faithful people went through. And my family has been through plenty-during times we’ve been closely following God and times we haven’t. But when I am closely following God I have a strong tower. I have a “safe place”. My grandpa used to always say “just do what’s right”. And obviously, there are times when we just aren’t sure what that is (choosing between two jobs or to move or not move are examples) but many times we know what is right but we choose what is wrong. It rarely ends well.

What’s Your Story?

There’s a scene in Pretty Woman where a man is yelling “Welcome to Hollywood, what’s your dream…? Some dreams come true, some don’t but keep dreamin!’” Do you ever just want to know someone’s story? Whether it’s someone you see at the grocery store that looks sad, or even angry-do you wonder what brought them to that point, what makes them tick? What about when you see someone who is just so happy? Are they really, truly happy, or is it someone like Robin Williams? The tears of a clown, when no one’s around… When you come across someone who is considered by society to be less than…a drug addict, a prostitute, do you wonder what brought them there? No little girl wakes up on a happy morning in her bubble gum pink bedroom with Barbie’s and baby dolls and thinks she aspires to be a prostitute. Something broke somewhere. But what? No boy leaves his baseball game and thinks “I’ll probably just try some [meth]. Maybe become hooked and need to steal-even from my family.” I am a people watcher. Reading people. And sometimes feeling what they put off. (Not always, but often.) I’ve just started a part time job as a waitress in a small restaurant (first time to ever wait tables!) and sometimes I have a customer who seems very gruff. My goal is to make their day better. Not because I’ll get a tip. But because it’s what makes me tick. Often in this restaurant it’s an older person who seems just…unhappy. But if you listen (even eavesdrop??) you will often hear them tell a part of their story. These people have had a life. Some have very interesting stories. I pray daily that I will treat each and every customer as if she or he is the best tipper ever. (Whether they are or not isn’t my business.) What if we all do that? Treat people the best we possibly can. What if tou become one of the best parts of someone's story?

Launching

Launching your kids into adulthood is not an easy task.  Obviously, the practical things are important: finances, life skills like cleaning and time management. Do they know how to avoid pitfalls when they have complete freedom? All of that is super important, but what I’m talking about is the letting go. The emotional part. And sometimes the years leading up to that aren’t ideal. We were living “on the road” in a travel trailer. My (then) 17 year old daughter didn’t come with us. She was attending community college and working. If I’d we had made her come with us it would have stunted her. But staying without her family also wasn’t ideal. It caused a lot of pain for her. My (then) 15 year old son DID have to come with us. And leave behind a girlfriend, his friend group, etc. When he turned 16 we had to make some big decisions. He had opportunities to work come up (construction for good friends) and we decided to let him make an 8 hour drive alone. Across west Texas. If you’ve not been there…desert. Plus navigating San Antonio alone. At barely 16. That’s not how I would have imagined parenting at those ages. I’ve graduated and released 2 into the world. One is married with babies now-and has ended up close to us. And one lives 1000 miles away. I worry about him. I pray for him. A lot. He’s not mine to control. Nor do I want to. But that grown man was once my baby. I nursed him. I held him. I helped him through horrible episodes of croup. Then I let him go on scout camping trips. Then the driving alone across Texas. Then he did an amazing trip at 17 with his best friend. Try letting go on that one? But it was then or never. He left the same week as my 2 youngest went to camp-the youngest for the first time ever with no friends in the group of boys going. That week was huge for me. I guess a core memory. And I found out one of my closest friends criticized me and said it wasn’t normal to be that attached to your kids. Another core memory. I have 2 more to launch into this crazy world. Thankfully they are having more of a traditional life. And I hope the launch is more traditional. I let the now 16 year old drive where she needs to drive. I let out enough rope and pray it’s not enough for her to hang herself. My kids don’t deserve to have their growth and life stunted by any anxieties I might have. But it’s not easy. Have grace for those friends who are making huge strides in letting go. Just because I didn’t like it and I was a nervous mess, I did it anyways. I did it for my kids. And isn’t that the definition of bravery? Doing it scared?