Why do I do this? Lately I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off (wonder where that saying came from??) just doing the "normal" things I call life. When it dawns on me that it's almost time for the tax refund!!! Woohoo! How can I spend it? My mind starts reeling (I think about this off and on starting the minute the previous year's is spent) and I come up with many ways:
1. Redo Jared's room (which he's perfectly happy with)-new furniture and all
2. Redo our master bathroom (totally gut it and start over)
3. Finish redoing the hall bath (replace the toilet) and while I'm at it I prob'ly should learn how to "skim" walls (ie: make the texture go away and "re-drywall" it) which I've never in my life attempted...Oh, and I'm tired of the deco in there...must redo that too.
4. Don't forget the homeschool materials for next year (never mind that my real estate taxes pay about $800-900 to the local school system to buy books for other kids) which will cost at least $400 and I prob'ly won't like half of what I get
5. Pool pass for the summer so that I'll know what to do with these kids while we're not doing school.
6. Vacation money...
7. A shed to make into a school room
Now, lest you think we get back $20k...we don't. Sigh So, I will have to prioritize. Oh yeah, where was I?
This weekend we decided (ok, I decided and hubby got mad and then took on "if you can't beat her join her" attitude) to completely empty out Jared's room and start painting (well, priming since I have no idea what color I want to paint the room or even what the "theme" will be). I get everyone in there and we strip off his wallpaper (well, border). All this was decided because we picked up his new bed. You can't have a new bed w/o a new room (in case you didn't know this). Now, we have no idea what to do past the primer coat and all of his stuff is in the garage (clothing and all since he has no dresser). Now, if this post seems scatterbrained that's because it is about this project I've taken on. And it is definitely scatterbrained. We decided to go to Target and find something to put in his room (bedding). All this time I'm fighting the urge to start purchasing things for the hall bathroom and start stripping the border in that room. I know without a doubt that my dear dear husband will have a fit if I start on that room in the middle of the first room. So, I don't voice this idea.
Oh, and last week I bought a scrap book! I've never tried that before and had some extra money (ha-not) and thought I could not live w/o this particular scrap book (and surely I'll never find one like it again). And I have all this extra time on my hands so I need a hobby! (Ha again) And scrapbooking is a cheap hobby, right? (can you hear the ha coming??)
Ok, so to recap...I am homeschooling my children by day, taking care of the baby by day and night, supposed to be keeping the house clean and the family in clean clothing, preparing nutritious meals that everyone enjoys, and soccer starts again soon. Now, I am scrapbooking, finishing Jared's room, redoing both bathrooms, looking for homeschooling materials and finding out about permits and city codes for the building we want to put said materials in...
When I get all of this done I will post pictures of the happy family in the happy new rooms!!!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Saturday, January 12, 2008
What is Victoria's Secret?
Ok, first off, let me start with a warning...some of this may contain TMI for some people.
Now, onto the real story. The other day I innocently went out to get my mail and there, among my homeschool catalogs and BabyTalk magazines, and bills, is a catalog that does not fit-something like that old song they used to play on Sesame Street about "one of these things doesn't belong here..." and you had to figure out which one. Well, that one thing was glaringly obvious to me, it was Victoria's Secret's swimsuit issue.
Ok, so I admit that 10 years ago this catalog would've been of more interest to me than the other articles were. But not so much anymore. You see, sometime while I was sleeping my body parts have been replaced by someone else's. The new boobs are about 3 inches lower and not in the greatest condition. I wonder if it was Victoria that stole my original ones (maybe to use on her models). The old ones looked perker and firmer (hmmm, like those in the catalog) and the new ones look...well, used. I feel like the show Extreme Makeover shown in reverse.
Now, my biggest complaint is the tummy I was left with. I don't know who stole my somewhat flat smooth skinned belly and put in it's place this one that hangs in funny drape-like position with all these stripey marks in it, but that person was not a nice person. It hangs over any bathing suit I would wear, save for that Grandma one I saw with cone shaped "cups" and material that promises to shape you and form you into something resembling a figure. There is one benefit to this new tummy though. In the absence of any pets I now have something warm and soft that lays next to me when I lay on my side.
But the person or persons who did this dastardly deed did leave behind a few things that weren't there before. They left these pads on top of my hip bones. And that crease in my forehead that makes it look like I've been scowling for years on end?? (Do I???) and the gray hairs that keep sprouting out so boldly!?
Now, this catalog shows us what we are "supposed" to look like. We are supposed to have the shape of a young boy with perfectly tanned skin and balloons tucked neatly inside the skin on our chest. Our hair should look perfectly "mussed"-like we just rolled out of bed. Our lips are supposed to look bee stung and our eyes sleepily sultry sexy. My eyes look sleepy alright, but it's the dark circles under them that give me this look.
And what were the deisgners of these bathing suits (I use this term loosely as they could be called bathing "bits") thinking when they scooped the bottoms down sooooooo low in the front that nothing (and I mean nothing) would be left to the imagination? Now, maybe (maybe I said) if you just had to lay on the beach (or poolside) in the perfect pose (never bending over or slouching...) these would work. You could neatly arrange all your parts and pieces to be alluringly exposed (rather than disgustingly exposed)
And the real kicker...some of the same people that sell and market these articles of **ahem** clothing would have me to nurse my baby in the bathroom to avoid anyone seeing something they shouldn't see!?
For the record, I would not trade any of these new body parts for my old childless body. Those stripey marks on my tummy? Those are badges of courage! They show that I was brave enough to have my heart walk around outside of my body, lose sleep for the rest of my life and love someone more than I love my own life. The fact that it drapes reminds me that I have carried a 7 lb 12 oz baby girl, an 8 lb 14 oz boy, and an 8 lb 8 oz girl in there. The boobs that are so much lower? They have nourished my babies' bodies, nursed babies' hurts and served as pillows and handholds. All of these new imperfections remind me that I am blessed beyond belief!
I didn't figure anyone wanted pictures to go with this one...Pictures next time! ;)
Now, onto the real story. The other day I innocently went out to get my mail and there, among my homeschool catalogs and BabyTalk magazines, and bills, is a catalog that does not fit-something like that old song they used to play on Sesame Street about "one of these things doesn't belong here..." and you had to figure out which one. Well, that one thing was glaringly obvious to me, it was Victoria's Secret's swimsuit issue.
Ok, so I admit that 10 years ago this catalog would've been of more interest to me than the other articles were. But not so much anymore. You see, sometime while I was sleeping my body parts have been replaced by someone else's. The new boobs are about 3 inches lower and not in the greatest condition. I wonder if it was Victoria that stole my original ones (maybe to use on her models). The old ones looked perker and firmer (hmmm, like those in the catalog) and the new ones look...well, used. I feel like the show Extreme Makeover shown in reverse.
Now, my biggest complaint is the tummy I was left with. I don't know who stole my somewhat flat smooth skinned belly and put in it's place this one that hangs in funny drape-like position with all these stripey marks in it, but that person was not a nice person. It hangs over any bathing suit I would wear, save for that Grandma one I saw with cone shaped "cups" and material that promises to shape you and form you into something resembling a figure. There is one benefit to this new tummy though. In the absence of any pets I now have something warm and soft that lays next to me when I lay on my side.
But the person or persons who did this dastardly deed did leave behind a few things that weren't there before. They left these pads on top of my hip bones. And that crease in my forehead that makes it look like I've been scowling for years on end?? (Do I???) and the gray hairs that keep sprouting out so boldly!?
Now, this catalog shows us what we are "supposed" to look like. We are supposed to have the shape of a young boy with perfectly tanned skin and balloons tucked neatly inside the skin on our chest. Our hair should look perfectly "mussed"-like we just rolled out of bed. Our lips are supposed to look bee stung and our eyes sleepily sultry sexy. My eyes look sleepy alright, but it's the dark circles under them that give me this look.
And what were the deisgners of these bathing suits (I use this term loosely as they could be called bathing "bits") thinking when they scooped the bottoms down sooooooo low in the front that nothing (and I mean nothing) would be left to the imagination? Now, maybe (maybe I said) if you just had to lay on the beach (or poolside) in the perfect pose (never bending over or slouching...) these would work. You could neatly arrange all your parts and pieces to be alluringly exposed (rather than disgustingly exposed)
And the real kicker...some of the same people that sell and market these articles of **ahem** clothing would have me to nurse my baby in the bathroom to avoid anyone seeing something they shouldn't see!?
For the record, I would not trade any of these new body parts for my old childless body. Those stripey marks on my tummy? Those are badges of courage! They show that I was brave enough to have my heart walk around outside of my body, lose sleep for the rest of my life and love someone more than I love my own life. The fact that it drapes reminds me that I have carried a 7 lb 12 oz baby girl, an 8 lb 14 oz boy, and an 8 lb 8 oz girl in there. The boobs that are so much lower? They have nourished my babies' bodies, nursed babies' hurts and served as pillows and handholds. All of these new imperfections remind me that I am blessed beyond belief!
I didn't figure anyone wanted pictures to go with this one...Pictures next time! ;)
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