Monday, May 31, 2010


So, lately I've been totally addicted to "House Hunters" (via Hulu because we don't subscribe to cable). This show, while inspiring to me, makes me wonder several things.

1. Do people know what the word "need" (or "necessity") mean? Really? Or maybe I'm the one that's wrong. I just looked it up and found that it's associated with the word "want". I expected to find something to the effect of "required for life". These people (house hunters) are in "neeeeeed" of like 1500 square feet per person. A giant back yard...yada yada yada. We have 6 people in our family. Our house is 1000 square feet. I have 4 children, 2 boys and 2 girls but of varying ages. I could say I "neeeeed" 5 bedrooms, right? Surely a 10 year old girl should not share a room with a 3 year old girl...and an 8 year old boy with an infant? *Gasp*! And there was a time when I really, really wanted a bigger house. Really. Then I realized several things:
A. A bigger house means a bigger house payment.
B. A bigger house means more furniture.
C. A bigger house means more room to collect things we don't need.
D. Eventually I will have 3 children at home, then 2, then 1 and
surely at some point we will be empty nesters, right? With need of
maybe an office room and 1 room for guests or grandkids. Then what do
you do? Sell the big monstrosity of a house?
Now, I'm not saying that I wouldn't take a bigger house if it was financially "easy" to do. I would. Maybe. But, it's not a "need". There are pros and cons. I need food (although not quite as much as I usually eat). I need clothing. I need water. And I need air conditioning. Ok, maybe not, but I do. And shelter. And you know what? Our 1000 square foot house provides shelter (and air conditioning too!)

2. Do those people realize that paint is available? They will walk into a house and LOVE everything but some color choices. And it's a deal breaker. Hmmm. Maybe I'm a little spoiled there because I have a dad that is a contractor/carpenter (in fact he is, on this holiday weekend, building a privacy fence for us because we need it. Yes we do. We have a mean, ugly neighbor. I don't want her looking at my children with her evil-ness. And the words that come out of her mouth? Not nice words.) Anyways, so my dad has redone...almost everything. My master bath was super duper ugly and only a 1/2 bath. I now have a nice, pretty full bath (there was a big closet in a shower). New flooring, new kitchen, school room...etc, etc! But come on. Anyone can paint, right?

3. The word space has synonyms. gives these:
space, extension, extent, superficial extent, expanse, stretch; room, scope, range, field, way, expansion, compass, sweep, swing, spread., latitude, play., spare room, elbow room, house room; stowage, roomage, margin; opening, sphere, arena., open space, free space; void (absence); waste; wildness, wilderness; moor, moorland; campagna., abyss (interval); unlimited space; infinity; world; ubiquity (presence); length and breadth of the land., proportions, acreage; acres, acres and perches, roods and perches; square inches, square yards; ares, arpents. See? You can use other words.

4. And one last thing. A $750,000 house with large amounts of "space" and huge vaulted ceilings and exquisite detail is not "nice" with a bored undertone. Seriously. And if I ever get that "spoiled"? Someone shoot me.

Oh, and I am amazed at the differences of prices around this country! In some places you can get 790 square feet of condo/townhome for $550k. In other areas? $150k will buy you a really nice house with lots of "space" and "flow" and room for "entertaining" (lots of key words on the show).

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Envy, Coveting and Guilt

So, I'm going to flat out admit it. I suffer from envy. Not necessarily in the way you might think (although I'm not ashamed to say I'd love to have a nicer, bigger house if the opportunity ever presents itself). I don't want my best friend's husband. What would I do with another husband anyway? I don't want their children. I have 4. That's enough thanks. I don't want lots of money. I know money doesn't buy happiness. But those things bring me to what I do want.
I look at other women (real life and blog world) and I want to be:

::Organized. Yep. I envy their organization. Their togetherness.

::Thin. Yes. I used to be. I know it's more funner. (yeah, I know. Not a word but who cares? I like it.)

::Patient. I want to see the fun and the blessings in the mundane and even in the hard times. Occasionally I do. But not enough.

::A good writer. Yes. I want to be witty. Funny. Inspiring.

::A better photographer. Not so I can make money. So I can take pictures that I'm proud of.

::Good at interior decorating. You'd have to see my house to realize just how much I'm not. Good at interior decorating.

::Good at exterior decorating. Again, you'd have to see my house-the outside of it-to know. Just how bad I am. I've lived in this house for 4 1/2 years. We own it. (Well, the part of it that the bank doesn't own) and the yard is a blank slate.

::Stylish. Nope. Not a thing for me I guess. I could say it's lack of funds to shop at the right places, etc, etc. But that would be an excuse. I could say it's because I"m not thin enough. That would be another excuse. There are plenty of women with less money and me. And they are stylish.

::Passionate. I feel sometimes like I'm just not passionate enough about any one thing. I guess kind of a "Jack of all trades. Master of none." Kind of thing. What is my passion? I homeschool. Is it a passion? I don't know really. I do it because my kids need me to and my God has led me to. I diet. Is it a passion? No. Or I wouldn't eat the garbage I eat too often. I exercise. No, not a passion either. A means to an end (see the 2nd thing I want to be-listed above). Godly. I think I am...sometimes...until I meet someone who is. Then I know I'm not. See what I'm talking about? I want these things, but I must not be passionate enough about them because otherwise I would make them happen. Right? Maybe this last one encompasses all of the above. If I had a passion for any one of these things I would find a way to make them happen. I'd organize the house and my schedule, lose the weight, take a class on writing, search, search search (the internet, stores, thrift stores...) until I found the deal of a lifetime on the style of a lifetime. For me and my house. But I don't do that stuff.

So, I guess I have the kind of envy that just might be the worst kind to have. I need to learn to be happy with who and what I am. I am me. God made me. My kids love me. And so does my husband. Yet...I still want to be all of those things.

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