So, Wednesday was this rotten, awful, horrible day. Apparently Lindsay and I are on the same cycle of bad days. That is not a good combination. We already tend to have the typical mother/daughter conflicts--more on that later--so the last thing we need is to both be having a bad (hormonal??) day on the SAME day. Everything anyone did made her cry and everything EVERYone did made me want to yell. And scowl. And stomp. So, there is Lindsay, crying away about everything which only made me angrier. Tears make me uncomfortable on the best of days. I don't like to cry-and will do everything in my power to stop it. In myself and others.
But Wednesday...brought many tears to our house. And everything about pregnancy was miserable. Every part of my body below my rib cage hurt. And ached. And I thought, "How will I make it through 8 more weeks of this?"
But the dawn comes in the morning, right?
Thursday was far from perfect, but was so much better. In comparison it seemed like a Utopia! Even physically I felt like I could do this for 8 more weeks (7 1/2 now, but who's counting?)
When we didn't accomplish every single school assignment that I had wanted to accomplish it just didn't seem to matter that much.
I am trying something new-not doing very well at it, but hey...you gotta practice to do something well, right? I'm trying to change some attitudes I have in my heart. I got my inspiration from Michelle Duggar. She must be doing something right. So, here's my goal: to smile more than I frown (scowl). Mainly in regards to my children. My children are a gift from God. But I don't often reflect that in the way I act with them. Instead I become this drill sargeant that wants things done "10 minutes ago". They are children. Yes, they need to obey and do what I say (promptly) but I also am their mom. If they are showing "'tude" to me on a regular basis (sarcasm and just plain ugliness) they are probably living what they've learned. Ooops. (There's one negative about homeschooling ;) You can't blame it anyone else! LOL) So, if I want them to be nicer to each other (more positive and not condemning...then I prob'ly need to model that behavior!!! **DING DING** <--that's the "right answer bell"!
So, my goals for the remainder of this week and all of next week (a little at a time...I am human) are:
1. Smile more than I frown/scowl.
2. Say more positive things than negative. Even if it means stretching and searching out positives. It won't hurt me and it will help the kids immensely!
4 comments:
I think we all could use this lesson periodically. Hope things are going better for you :-)
Yes, this is a good lesson to all of us parents. Yet, this parenting job is EXHAUSTING!! So much at stake and it takes mastery over SELF which can be so difficult as we are just students learning this ourselves. This self mastery thing is my "elephant to conquer". To smile when I feel like frowning. To say nothing when I want to criticize or complain. But awareness (good goals like yours) is half the battle. You've got so much on your plate right now - as if it wasn't enough before. Pregnancy depletes your energy (emotionally & physically) sooner each day. Hang in there - these last 2 months. I remember how hard that time was. I hope it goes as quickly as possible. Great post! :)
This one made me think of your post -
"There has never been a day when I have not been proud of you, I said to my daughter, though some days I'm louder about other stuff so it's easy to miss that." - storypeople
Gina-that's a really good quote!!! :)
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