You know, I'm pretty good at the basics. I can clean (normally I can do a decent job of it when I have adequate time, things are not quite as clean as I like 'em right now), I can cook (pretty decently if I do say so myself-and Harold would agree and that's what counts, right?). Ok, that's the basics...
But as I was catching up reading a wonderful blog this morning Clover Lane I came upon her post about her list that she has finished. A list of all that needed to be "righted" in her home to make it what she wanted it to be. It's just beautiful (please, click on the link and it will take you directly to that particular post). And looks so finished. My house? Doesn't. I got all inspired. Then I remembered where I am in life. It's not gonna happen anytime soon. I have lived in this house for 4 years (plus a few months) and while it is small, it's ours and it's cozy. BUT, it needs some TLC.
Like I said, I'm good at the basics. I think the rest is pathetic due to my indecisiveness. I could blame it on lack of money. But really? There are ways to decorate on a dime. There are prob'ly millions of websites and other resources devoted directly to that.
I finally got my school room and was so excited to decorate my kitchen like a kitchen (rather than a school area). But have I? Nope. I sure haven't. I'm carrying around pictures I painted on little canvases for the kids' bathroom that I redid over a year ago (in my defense, that was a pretty big project as I skimmed the walls-to take away the unwanted and mixmatched texture in there-and painted the whole thing. Almost all by myself!). Those pictures are in my van because they need frames so I can hang them on the nice walls. By the time I get frames for them I will be more than ready to redo that bathroom. Why? Because I can't go to a dollar store and choose frames! I have furniture that I feel "meh" about. Don't hate it, but it's certainly not doing anything for me. (That stuff might have to wait due to finances, but I can at least be on the look out for reasonable replacements, can't I?)
So, in 2010 I'm going to make a list of things that will make my house more homey and more what I want it to be. It will mostly be simple things and it will take some creativity-both for the element of TIME (I will be homeschooling still as well as caring for an infant and a 3 year old) and money. I will have to be willing to ask for help at times. Help with the kids, help with deciding on pictures to hang on walls, help with the basics if I'm in the middle of a project. And help remembering the important things are not really in decorating but in the day to day lives of my children. (Which could also be something inspired by that particular blogger). I will make my list reasonable and give myself time and leniency.
My list will most likely not appear here (unless I really need to blog but am uninspired with anything else--but with all the dirty diapers-and cloth ones at that! and spit up coming my way? As well as older siblings and their "issues" with a new baby?? Come on! I'll have plenty of junk to write about.) but I hope to do something similar to Clover Lane when I'm finished. When I have some visuals to accompany what I've accomplished.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
News Alert!
Do not read if you are not interested in cervixes (sp??) and birth and all that "icky" stuff. LOL
There, you've been warned.
I went to the doctor today (not mine, because of course she's out of town this whole week as well as Monday of next week) and they did a routine test for group B strep as well as checked my cervix. I thought having my cervix checked would give me some reassurance that nothing was going on and that I was good to wait for my induction. In the way that hugely pregnant moms always wait...miserably. Instead, I get the news that I am dilated to 2-3 centimeters and 50% effaced (thinned out-for those who don't already know that). So, here's the deal. With my first 3 babies I went in to be induced at a 0 (centimeters that is) and it was a total of 4-5 hours with each one before they were BORN. So, do you get it? Do you get that this could go really fast when actual labor starts? HOLY MOLY!!!!
My dear friend pointed out that this time my body might just do everything "on it's own" and I might have a totally normal experience. She reminded me (when I told her this wasn't the way it was supposed to happen) that neither was I "supposed" to get pregnant without fertility treatments. Oh so true! So, this little guy might just make his appearance a little earlier than originally planned.
IF I don't go into labor on my own before then, the plan is to have an amniocentesis on Monday of next week (to check for lung maturity) and if his lungs are mature an induction on Wednesday. I would be 37 weeks and 2 days at that point. He is already at least 7 lbs 12 oz according to the ultrasound I had today. My doctor would, at that point, be back and is on call at the hospital that day. We'll see! She may not deliver this baby after all. Bummer, but not the end of the world. My biggest worry is making it to the hospital where ANY doctor can deliver!!!! I do not want to a) deliver at home with Lindsay as my mid-wife or 2) deliver on the side of the road on the way to the hospital (30 minuntes away with NO traffic!)
There, you've been warned.
I went to the doctor today (not mine, because of course she's out of town this whole week as well as Monday of next week) and they did a routine test for group B strep as well as checked my cervix. I thought having my cervix checked would give me some reassurance that nothing was going on and that I was good to wait for my induction. In the way that hugely pregnant moms always wait...miserably. Instead, I get the news that I am dilated to 2-3 centimeters and 50% effaced (thinned out-for those who don't already know that). So, here's the deal. With my first 3 babies I went in to be induced at a 0 (centimeters that is) and it was a total of 4-5 hours with each one before they were BORN. So, do you get it? Do you get that this could go really fast when actual labor starts? HOLY MOLY!!!!
My dear friend pointed out that this time my body might just do everything "on it's own" and I might have a totally normal experience. She reminded me (when I told her this wasn't the way it was supposed to happen) that neither was I "supposed" to get pregnant without fertility treatments. Oh so true! So, this little guy might just make his appearance a little earlier than originally planned.
IF I don't go into labor on my own before then, the plan is to have an amniocentesis on Monday of next week (to check for lung maturity) and if his lungs are mature an induction on Wednesday. I would be 37 weeks and 2 days at that point. He is already at least 7 lbs 12 oz according to the ultrasound I had today. My doctor would, at that point, be back and is on call at the hospital that day. We'll see! She may not deliver this baby after all. Bummer, but not the end of the world. My biggest worry is making it to the hospital where ANY doctor can deliver!!!! I do not want to a) deliver at home with Lindsay as my mid-wife or 2) deliver on the side of the road on the way to the hospital (30 minuntes away with NO traffic!)
Friday, November 20, 2009
I Love A Rainy Night
or day (but that's not a song)...
In South Texas we rarely have a truly rainy day. They do come in spells but we are usually in drought mode. And the days are usually long and sunny and hot and blazing. My grandpa would love this. He HATES rain and hates even more when it's dreary...but when that's all you ever see and feel-is the blazing sun, you get to where you long for a dreary rainy day and to see the water pouring from Heaven to give life to what's on earth.
We've had a hugely rainy day (after a very rainy night)-so much so that we're all going to get out our Bibles and look for the instructions for building an ark. But it sure does make for a cozy day when you don't have to go anywhere. The kids are not aching (and belly-aching) to get outdoors to play-thereby leaving schoolwork in the dust. Napping with Haley on a dark and dreary day is just what the doctor ordered for this tired mama. Awesome napping day! There, there's something positive. :) :) :)
In South Texas we rarely have a truly rainy day. They do come in spells but we are usually in drought mode. And the days are usually long and sunny and hot and blazing. My grandpa would love this. He HATES rain and hates even more when it's dreary...but when that's all you ever see and feel-is the blazing sun, you get to where you long for a dreary rainy day and to see the water pouring from Heaven to give life to what's on earth.
We've had a hugely rainy day (after a very rainy night)-so much so that we're all going to get out our Bibles and look for the instructions for building an ark. But it sure does make for a cozy day when you don't have to go anywhere. The kids are not aching (and belly-aching) to get outdoors to play-thereby leaving schoolwork in the dust. Napping with Haley on a dark and dreary day is just what the doctor ordered for this tired mama. Awesome napping day! There, there's something positive. :) :) :)
I've Lost Something
besides my mind. I've lost my feet. Everyone keeps telling me they're very swollen. I'll just have to take their word for it.
Two and a half weeks...I can do it, right? I'm so tired and sore and done. And the sad thing? I'm not naive enough to think the tired part is going to get better after the baby...but at least I can start to lose some of this weight that is breaking my ankles (don't worry though, they won't actually break, they are reinforced by POUNDS of fluid--they're shored up really well).
Sorry. I know that it's a blessed time and I should be positive, but you'd have to see me to believe the misery. And I can't wait to meet Nathan too, by the way! ;)
Two and a half weeks...I can do it, right? I'm so tired and sore and done. And the sad thing? I'm not naive enough to think the tired part is going to get better after the baby...but at least I can start to lose some of this weight that is breaking my ankles (don't worry though, they won't actually break, they are reinforced by POUNDS of fluid--they're shored up really well).
Sorry. I know that it's a blessed time and I should be positive, but you'd have to see me to believe the misery. And I can't wait to meet Nathan too, by the way! ;)
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Getting Closer!
For anyone who reads my blog and is not interested in my pregnancy or baby stuff...I'M SORRY! For a while I was not blogging much because I thought that it would just bore people to tears to read about this ad nauseum. Then I realized it's MY blog! And I can write about what is going on in my life...in fact, that's what a blog is for, right? (This also came after a very nice person told me that it was interesting anyway! ;)-thanks Sylvia!)
So, without further adieu! ;)
I am now 34 weeks and 5 days. Remember, norm is 40 weeks but I will be induced at 38 weeks because we're pretty sure he's gonna be a whopper! Due to my history as well as some measurements the doctor takes (both of my belly size with the good old fashioned tape measure and the ultrasound measurements-there is no discrepancy there!) it's kind of a given.
So, that means I have 3 weeks 2 days plus or minus a couple of days for my doctor's schedule of when she'll be in the hospital. Wow. That seems so short and yet it seems so long.
I finally feel as if I'm "ready" for the baby to come out. I've been very apprehensive the whole pregnancy because, while this baby is very loved, I did not plan to have a fourth baby. It wasn't even in the realm of possibility in my mind. I am a planner. I am a control-freak. So, I figured if I didn't plan it and didn't "control" it then a. it couldn't happen and 2. I couldn't handle it. So, I figured the anxiety and aches and pains of pregnancy were better than trying to take care of a fourth child...not feeling that way anymore. I cannot wait to meet this *little* (relatively speaking) guy and hold him and let his brother and sisters meet him. I can't wait to "do" the delivery room again-where the emotion is so strong and it is such a high!
But, speaking of the delivery room. I'm a little nervous. IF he is as big as we think (and as I fear) it might be tough. I don't know why I'm worried. I've had a big baby before, none of mine have been tiny: 7 lbs 12 oz, 8 lbs 14 oz and 8 lbs 8 oz <--that last one? 2 weeks early! Holy moly! I'm thinking that this one will be right around 9 lbs. I never worried about this before (aside from my first one that is) about not being able to do it. And yet, here I sit worrying. I know the Bible says to worry about nothing but to pray about everything. I guess now would be a great time to practice that.
So, without further adieu! ;)
I am now 34 weeks and 5 days. Remember, norm is 40 weeks but I will be induced at 38 weeks because we're pretty sure he's gonna be a whopper! Due to my history as well as some measurements the doctor takes (both of my belly size with the good old fashioned tape measure and the ultrasound measurements-there is no discrepancy there!) it's kind of a given.
So, that means I have 3 weeks 2 days plus or minus a couple of days for my doctor's schedule of when she'll be in the hospital. Wow. That seems so short and yet it seems so long.
I finally feel as if I'm "ready" for the baby to come out. I've been very apprehensive the whole pregnancy because, while this baby is very loved, I did not plan to have a fourth baby. It wasn't even in the realm of possibility in my mind. I am a planner. I am a control-freak. So, I figured if I didn't plan it and didn't "control" it then a. it couldn't happen and 2. I couldn't handle it. So, I figured the anxiety and aches and pains of pregnancy were better than trying to take care of a fourth child...not feeling that way anymore. I cannot wait to meet this *little* (relatively speaking) guy and hold him and let his brother and sisters meet him. I can't wait to "do" the delivery room again-where the emotion is so strong and it is such a high!
But, speaking of the delivery room. I'm a little nervous. IF he is as big as we think (and as I fear) it might be tough. I don't know why I'm worried. I've had a big baby before, none of mine have been tiny: 7 lbs 12 oz, 8 lbs 14 oz and 8 lbs 8 oz <--that last one? 2 weeks early! Holy moly! I'm thinking that this one will be right around 9 lbs. I never worried about this before (aside from my first one that is) about not being able to do it. And yet, here I sit worrying. I know the Bible says to worry about nothing but to pray about everything. I guess now would be a great time to practice that.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Negative Focus vs. Positive Focus
I have realized something lately. I'm focusing on the negatives in life rather than the positives. There is so much to be thankful for-and what a good time of year to think really long and hard about it.
::Sure, pregnancy is hard. But what about all the years I wanted nothing more than to be pregnant? We started trying to have a baby in 1995 and didn't have Lindsay until April of 2000. That's a long time (in my mind anyways) to want a baby. But I just keep thinking of the inconveniences of being pregnant. There are still women out there who would give ANYthing to just feel the way I do right now.
::Yes, my house is a mess. But during those years I mentioned above I wanted so badly to have toys in the house to trip over. And you know what? My house was a mess then too prob'ly. Just not with as cute of stuff.
::Money is tight. But, my husband has a job! So many don't. And I get to stay home with my children. Isn't that worth pinching a few pennies? I think so. I could probably go back to work (ok, not quite right now, but you know what I mean) but that would not be for me. I think I'll pinch a few more pennies and see what happens. We've always managed to eat, right? And we have a home. And a car-even a nice one!
::My husband does not clean the house. BUT he doesn't get all picky about how I do it (or lately-how I don't do it). I don't ever feel as if I'm going to be in "trouble" if the house is a wreck--I've known of some women who had that fear every day. How sad is that to feel that in your own home?
::My kids drive me crazy. But they are healthy enough to be loud and boisterous. Isn't that something to be thankful for? I agree! It definitely is. :)
So, I'm going to waddle on in and see why Haley is still asleep from her nap--it's 5:10 pm, guess that means a late bedtime huh? Then I'll trip over some toys and maybe fix some dinner. And you know what? In just a short time my husband will be home-because he does that every night. What a blessing is that? Oh, and for good measure I think I'll scratch a few mosquito bites. How nice it is to live in a place where it's warm enough to be outside to get them in November? And I mean that!
::Sure, pregnancy is hard. But what about all the years I wanted nothing more than to be pregnant? We started trying to have a baby in 1995 and didn't have Lindsay until April of 2000. That's a long time (in my mind anyways) to want a baby. But I just keep thinking of the inconveniences of being pregnant. There are still women out there who would give ANYthing to just feel the way I do right now.
::Yes, my house is a mess. But during those years I mentioned above I wanted so badly to have toys in the house to trip over. And you know what? My house was a mess then too prob'ly. Just not with as cute of stuff.
::Money is tight. But, my husband has a job! So many don't. And I get to stay home with my children. Isn't that worth pinching a few pennies? I think so. I could probably go back to work (ok, not quite right now, but you know what I mean) but that would not be for me. I think I'll pinch a few more pennies and see what happens. We've always managed to eat, right? And we have a home. And a car-even a nice one!
::My husband does not clean the house. BUT he doesn't get all picky about how I do it (or lately-how I don't do it). I don't ever feel as if I'm going to be in "trouble" if the house is a wreck--I've known of some women who had that fear every day. How sad is that to feel that in your own home?
::My kids drive me crazy. But they are healthy enough to be loud and boisterous. Isn't that something to be thankful for? I agree! It definitely is. :)
So, I'm going to waddle on in and see why Haley is still asleep from her nap--it's 5:10 pm, guess that means a late bedtime huh? Then I'll trip over some toys and maybe fix some dinner. And you know what? In just a short time my husband will be home-because he does that every night. What a blessing is that? Oh, and for good measure I think I'll scratch a few mosquito bites. How nice it is to live in a place where it's warm enough to be outside to get them in November? And I mean that!
My Appointment
My dr laughed at me. She really did. This is after my mom laughed at me.
When I first went in the doctor asked me how I was feeling, I asked her for my epidural. Now.
When she measured me she said I am measuring 40 weeks (remember, I am 34). I asked her what we were waiting on-I thought she should walk me right on over to the hospital. Then we could get my first request taken care of and get this show on the road. She, unfortunately, did not agree with my course of treatment for this "condition" I have.
In positive news though...I only weigh 105 pounds. Seriously. That's what the girl that weighs you and checks your blood pressure and directs you to the potty to pee in a cup told me! Who am I to argue...I had my back to the scales...she could've been telling the truth, right? My blood pressure was good...
Here's the gist of the whole appointment: Looking good, baby is really big, let's see him in ultrasound in two weeks. Chuckle Chuckle. No, really I'm laughing because you're so cute. You're not fat anywhere but have a huge baby in front. Really? Ugh. She just couldn't see the backside of me due to the front side taking up her entire field of vision.
My mom pointed out that my breast reduction is looking great. (No, I did not have surgery...my belly has reduced them to less than normal proportions).
**in case you didn't get the humor, I really didn't expect to be walked to the hospital and delivered at 34 weeks, despite my discomfort-and to be quite frank, fear of how big this baby will be-I do NOT want him taken any earlier than need be. That will be at 38 weeks.
When I first went in the doctor asked me how I was feeling, I asked her for my epidural. Now.
When she measured me she said I am measuring 40 weeks (remember, I am 34). I asked her what we were waiting on-I thought she should walk me right on over to the hospital. Then we could get my first request taken care of and get this show on the road. She, unfortunately, did not agree with my course of treatment for this "condition" I have.
In positive news though...I only weigh 105 pounds. Seriously. That's what the girl that weighs you and checks your blood pressure and directs you to the potty to pee in a cup told me! Who am I to argue...I had my back to the scales...she could've been telling the truth, right? My blood pressure was good...
Here's the gist of the whole appointment: Looking good, baby is really big, let's see him in ultrasound in two weeks. Chuckle Chuckle. No, really I'm laughing because you're so cute. You're not fat anywhere but have a huge baby in front. Really? Ugh. She just couldn't see the backside of me due to the front side taking up her entire field of vision.
My mom pointed out that my breast reduction is looking great. (No, I did not have surgery...my belly has reduced them to less than normal proportions).
**in case you didn't get the humor, I really didn't expect to be walked to the hospital and delivered at 34 weeks, despite my discomfort-and to be quite frank, fear of how big this baby will be-I do NOT want him taken any earlier than need be. That will be at 38 weeks.
Monday, November 9, 2009
What do you think Meredith?
Ok, you doubted me when I said I had a 14 pound baby that was 26 inches long...what are you thinking now?
Last night I had one of those funny thoughts but slightly ridiculous. You know the kind. We all have them. Some people just don't admit it! Mine was this: we were at Target to do some registering for baby stuff and I had to go find Harold and the kids in the electronics department-Lindsay is the only other one interested in baby stuff ;)-and it's right next to the pharmacy at our Target...I saw the pregnancy tests and thought how funny it would be to buy a pregnancy test and see how the check-out person reacted. Come on. It would be funny. And if those tests weren't so darn expensive...I'd have DONE IT! :)
On my way to my doctor to see what she has to say about this full grown child I'm carrying in my womb like a fetus.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Let the Nesting Begin!
Friday we were all set to go on a field trip to King Ranch and I was having some curious pains and weirdness that makes you a little uneasy when you're in the last weeks of pregnancy. When my mom didn't want me to go on the trip and reminded me how close I am to delivering this baby IT HIT ME! I am having a baby!? Seriously?? I have done almost NOTHING to prepare for this little guy! So, as I was driving to King Ranch (yes, I went) which is about an hour and a half away-a drive like that gives you plenty of time to think when the kids are all watching a movie in the back seat and being quiet...anyways, as I was saying, I was driving and thinking about all the things I have yet to do! I was tempted to start making a list right then and there as I drove...but figured that rates right up there with texting while driving. Not the best idea.
1. Pack my hospital bag.
2. Prepare my cloth diapers
3. Wash baby clothes
4. Put together a crib, a cradle...a dresser drawer, something for him to sleep in!
5. Buy a baby book (he can't be the only kid that doesn't have one in the family-that's a sure thing to get me on some talk show about how I ruined my child's life!)
6. CHRISTMAS SHOPPING
7. Christmas cards
8. Birth Announcements (I plan to make them, so I have to get started on what I can do before I have his stats-you know that he weighed 14 lbs and 3 oz and was 26 inches long)
9. Have the kids' pictures taken (because I'm sooooo way behind on this and I know that's not going to get better when I have 4 to take care of)
10. Clean. Clean. Clean (even though I'll still have to clean it all again before he comes because a lot of dirt can happen in 4 weeks!)
11. Get the swing and bouncy seat ready (just wash the covers as they were all bought used-great condition and for GREAT deals, and all you have to do is add soap and water! Love good deals)
12. Order proper diaper-washing soap.
13. Do you get the idea?
So, you might ask, what's the problem? When you're gargantuan and carrying around said 14 lb baby it's very difficult to do a lot of this stuff. And I drop EVERYthing. Seriously. Sometimes I'll drop the same thing like 4 times!? What is that about?
But, as I was folding those sweet little baby clothes last night while watching a little Friends with my hubby, it's all so worth it. I was thinking of holding my snuggly little baby dressed in each of those items (thank you Mom for all the clothes for Nathan!) and I realized it's all going to be okay and I can't wait to meet him and hold him. To nurse him and love him. To see the other kids interact with him (they were fighting over who gets to hold him first and who gets to hold him in our Christmas Card picture! Trying to bargain with each other over those priveleges!) and to see him learn. Pretty sure that these are the reasons women survive pregnancy. :)
Now, some pictures of our adventure to King Ranch! :) And I will try to post a "belly picture" tomorrow-if my belly still fits in the lens of my camera! Ha ha!
*the pictures of the kids in the trees were taken just before we got yelled at to "watch our children" and not to let them climb the trees. Really? We were watching them...and those were good climbing trees (we were having a little picnic in between parts of our field trip)! And this is not inclusive of all that came to the field trip. Unfortunately I did not think to take a group picture until a lot of them were gone. :( We kind of trickled out as it was over...
**disclaimer: the pictures of the ranch and animals were taken from inside the tour bus we rode on so they might be kind of fuzzy looking because of the glass and the reflections of people in the glass.
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