Lately I feel like such a drain. Chaos seems to reign supreme in my house. I do NOT thrive in chaos.
Some of it I'm sure is my own fault (letting the kids get a kitten, what was I thinking??) but some of it just comes with four kids. Having that many people saying "Mama" 24 hours a day. Really.
And I know that my kids are such a blessing. I remember the years of longing for a child. I remember wishing I had toys all over my house to complain about. Soccer games to go to. Baseball schedules to figure out. Birthday parties to plan. I have not forgotten.
But I promise you, even if you long for a baby and struggle with infertility or just the right situation for adding a baby to your life, it can still overwhelm you when you have your dream.
I think too, that if I didn't care about how I did this job it wouldn't be such a big deal. But I really want to do it right. Especially when your only job is parenting. You better do a good job. You have no other claim to fame. And there are no do-overs.
So, if blogging is lacking lately...it's because I'm drained beyond the point of writing.