Saturday, February 19, 2011

Drain

Lately I feel like such a drain. Chaos seems to reign supreme in my house. I do NOT thrive in chaos.
Some of it I'm sure is my own fault (letting the kids get a kitten, what was I thinking??) but some of it just comes with four kids. Having that many people saying "Mama" 24 hours a day. Really.
And I know that my kids are such a blessing. I remember the years of longing for a child. I remember wishing I had toys all over my house to complain about. Soccer games to go to. Baseball schedules to figure out. Birthday parties to plan. I have not forgotten.
But I promise you, even if you long for a baby and struggle with infertility or just the right situation for adding a baby to your life, it can still overwhelm you when you have your dream.
I think too, that if I didn't care about how I did this job it wouldn't be such a big deal. But I really want to do it right. Especially when your only job is parenting. You better do a good job. You have no other claim to fame. And there are no do-overs.
So, if blogging is lacking lately...it's because I'm drained beyond the point of writing.

3 comments:

Nichole said...

Hope you are getting some of your energy back. And at least you have your priorities straight. :)

Jenn said...

I know what you mean! I've been feeling the same way lately.

Nichole said...

SO sorry to hear this. I'll pray for you. Remember to get professional help if this continues for too long. One time I was depressed for quite a while and didn't even realize. I ended up seeing a therapist three or four times. It turned out that I just needed to talk to someone who wasn't involved in my life. It helped me get my confidence back. Good luck. :)

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