I Am a Promise-In Pursuit of the Well

Life's storms will come sometimes when we least expect them, how do we give our children a "safe feeling" in the midst of a life storm?

Sometimes chaos is created by our own efforts of trying to do too much, how can we maintain a peaceful home where chaos is prevented?

How can we as wives and mothers actually calm the storm?

I don't know that I'm qualified, in any sense of the word, to even think about posting on this subject, but maybe there are a few lessons I have learned that can help someone else. Oftentimes our house can be described as nothing less than total mayhem. Complete disarray. Utter chaos. Apparently this is "normal" if not desired. I would love to say that I handle all of this with prayer and Bible verses that calm me and therefore my children. But, lying is wrong. But I learned a song when I was a child I Am a Promise that holds true whether you're 3, 33 or 103.

[disclaimer: as I type this we're having a slight amount of chaos in our home right now-over some school work that was not done when it was supposed to be done.]

1) A schedule is necessary, rigidity is not. If your family is having a fun and peaceful time (whether you're at someone's house or playing a game or anything else you enjoy as a family) is it going to hurt anything to let the [happy] children stay up a little late? Prob'ly not. (I'm not suggesting that children stay up until midnight playing games or out visiting, just that you not rush them off to bed in a hurry when something fun is happening). I am learning to ask myself "Is this going to matter in 5 minutes? 5 hours? 5 days? 5 months? 5 years?" If it's only going to matter in the next 5 minutes...it's prob'ly not worth a battle. (Of course if you start the battle you'd better finish it and be victorious)

2)On that front:battles that is. Let your children know with certainty that you are the "boss". I think that children derive a sense of peace knowing that someone else, someone with their best interests at heart, is large and in charge. I know when I waffle on a parenting issue or a situation my children become less secure. If mom's not in charge, who is? As much as children fight us to be in charge...they know they can't handle it and it creates anxiety. I've seen it.

3)Keep yourself calm. This is one I must work on daily. Hourly. By the minute in fact. I am not a quiet person-happy or mad...sad or glad. I'm just not that quiet. I wish I were, but the fact is I am who God made me. That doesn't mean He's well pleased with me when I'm yelling or making a bunch of noise, it's something that is a work in progress. But if I get all worked up and loud, do you think my house is full of peace? Nope.

4)Kids don't need to be worried with constant adult problems. If you can't afford to buy them something, tell them. This will teach them that money does not grow on trees. However, if you are having trouble coming up with the house payment or rent, keep it between yourself and another adult (your spouse if you have one). Yes, there are sometimes when children will overhear these adult conversations (mine are notoriously "nosy"--we're working on that one)but they don't need to be burdened with worrying whether or not they will have a home tomorrow. In our life, God has always provided. Even when the numbers did not add up on paper, when income was less than outgo, it all worked out, and believe me, we have never gone hungry.

5)Hugs. Hugs and more hugs. And add in a few kisses for good measure. This is another one I need to work on constantly, for some reason it does not come naturally to me to shower my (older) children with physical affection.

I have to say, this has been a challenging post to do. I don't want to come off like I have it all together (there are too many people that read my blog that know better than that-and remember, lying is wrong ;) ) and I don't want to come off holier than thou. I'm not. I'm just a mom, trying to be the best I can with what I have. If God brings me to it He'll bring me through it, right?

Home School Stuff

There seems to be some twittering (no, not the website) going on in the blogosphere home school world about funding and government involvement. A year or so ago I decided to save all of my receipts for my home school materials and deduct them from my (itemized) taxes for the year. Lo and behold, we do not have the right to do that! I was livid. Here I was up to my elbows in receipts from the year (copies, books, school supplies, etc) totaling at least $500.00. At least. And Turbo Tax, very succinctly informs me that home schoolers can have no exemptions. What? The way I understand it (and anyone can correct me if I'm wrong here) teachers in public or private schools can deduct any expense they incur for classroom use (such as say, candy, if it is used for math purposes...) but I cannot deduct my actual curriculum? I was LIVID. I don't just mean a little perturbed. I was mad.

But then...

But then I realized that if the government helps me to buy my supplies I am not actually totally home schooling. The government (the powers that be) would have their nose and hand and any other parts of them they chose in my business. The business of my children's education. And, although I forget this focus sometimes, the main reason I home school is so that I might "train up a child in the way he should go..." (Proverbs 22:6). Academics are important. Definitely. Are they the be all, end all? No.
Psalm 111:10
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.

and
Proverbs 1:7
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

And I could post more verses on wisdom than anyone has time to read right now...most out of Proverbs-the book of wisdom. But the point is, my whole reasoning for home schooling my children is that, in these early, formative years,they not be steeped in the world. I cannot, and will not, "protect" them forever-I well know that. But I can protect them during the years that they are supposed to be innocent.

See, I got off track again! If I let the government reimuburse me for my teaching expenses...do they not have the right to know what they're paying me for?

We'll eek by and pay for our own curriculum. That which I have decided with God's help and my husband's help is best for the hearts and minds of our children.

Haley's Coming Around...

So, Haley is finally coming around on the "fuff fuff"...(that's Haley-speak for "dog") She tells us all the time that the "fuff fuff mice". No, our dog does not eat mice or look like a mouse...she is NICE! :)
This morning she looks at me with her first morning grin and holds up 2 fingers and says: "fuff fuff teeee" (means "two dogs") and shakes her head "no". She's telling me we don't have two dogs....smart girl. Then she tells me (with one adorable little finger held up) "nun" (one) and nods her head yes--smiling all the time.

In case I lost you there with all the quotes and parentheses the "conversation" Haley and I had was about us having one dog not two. :)

I have to hold onto and document these adorable moments to get me through the other ones...the ones that remind us she is in fact OFICIALLY "teeeee" (remember, "teeeee" is two)

15 Years...and We're Doing it All Again

Ok, so this summer Harold and I are planning to renew our vows. The thing is we never had a "real" wedding. We went to the justice of the peace and made it legal. And we meant every word that we said...but let's get real. When you're 18 (as I was) do you really understand what your vows mean? I don't really think I did. At least not in a real sense of the word "understand". I was 18 and I was in love. Yep. Now, I'm 33 and I love. I know that it's not something that happens to you but something you choose to do. Love is a verb. Sometimes minute by minute and sometimes one day at a time. Sometimes it's an easy task-a joy. And sometimes it takes effort. But just the same I'm not sorry I choose to love my husband.
In the coming years I hope to work on this (not only in relation to my husband, but in all of my relationships):
I Corinthians 13:4-7 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love...rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
I would love to be able to say my name could honestly replace the "love" in each of these sentences...

Dog Days

So, I have to admit I was pretty terrified of getting this dog. And yet I wanted her so badly. I just couldn't imagine more chaos and mess in my house. So far it's very enjoyable. I'm aware that it's still prob'ly the honeymoon phase, but she's loving it here...and we're loving having her.
The only problem...she smells like a dog!? What do you do about a dog that smells like a dog? LOL I heard about some shampoo that smells of lavendar and mint! The person that commented on it said it made them smell so yummy! I might just be trying that for her next bath.
For those who asked, her name is Daphne. She is a 3 year old yellow labrador retriever. She is exactly what I wanted and some friends needed to get out of the dog business...perfect! She is spayed, and up to date on everything. How cool is that? (Thank you Leah!)
So that's my update! Life with our dog is going pretty great so far.

Oh, one question for those who have inside dogs: How do you minimize the water all over the kitchen? LOL Every time she takes a (big sloppy drink) which is often, we have a trail of water allllllll over the kitchen! Any tips for that issue??

Just in Case....

things weren't crazy enough around here! .....






and things I've learned today:
Yes, wet dogs really do stink...even especially when being lathered up in foofy dog soap.
They also really do shake when their bath is over. After you've let them out of the (curtain enclosed) tub.

We're Going for a Walk!

One of the greatest things about homeschooling? Our day is so open! Don't take this to mean we don't educate, because that is very important to me. But if something comes up that we can do...we can take that day and do it. Then, we can make that day up-either by not taking spring break (we can take ours as opportunities for fun come up-not try to create fun for one week out of the year because that is when spring break is dictated) or adding a day on at the end of our school year. What does it really matter? If we finish our curriculum in time for next school year, does it really matter what day we finish it on? My kids are at this very moment reading aloud to each other. What a great thing that is. I hear so many (children as well as adults) who stumble over reading aloud...This is great practice. Did I tell them to do this? Nope! I didn't have to!
But now, my friends we are leaving to go to the library. There is also a playground across from the park, and if the mood strikes us we shall stop for a play there. (For the record we will be taking a grammar book to the library and working on the section called: "Library"). I am trying to have more of a light hearted opportunity driven attitude toward schooling. I don't ever want to lose sight of having an organized educating experience for my children, but am learning (as time goes by) to let the moment teach us at times.
just a little note here: I had two blog posts saved as drafts and had totally forgotten the one about "warm mothering"-which was inspired by another blog I read. I guess, even though I had forgotten it, it had stuck somewhere in the recesses of my mind. Because this is exactly what I was talking about! So, did I, for once, learn my lesson on something? I'm sure it's ongoing and will have to be relearned constantly...but it's a step in the right direction, right?