Thursday, October 4, 2007

Overwhelmed and Underinspired

Sorry it has been so long since I've posted here. Life has overwhelmed me to the point where I am underinspired. (Not sure if that's a word, but oh well). Ever since soccer and school started I feel like I don't have a minute to breathe-and if I steal the moment to breathe, then the whole house of cards starts falling. :(

Our schedule is something like this:

6:45 am-mommy gets up to exercise-hopefully alone
6:55 am (right when I push play on my exercise tape) Haley begins to wail.
6:56 am-mommy begins to panic thinking "I will be fat for the rest of my life."
7:00 am-plop Haley in her high chair in the living room where she can cry to her hearts content while I exercise anyway.
7:35 am-done exercising, try to hold Haley who has been mad this entire time
8:00 am-begin trying to wake Jared and Lindsay (if Jared is not already awake making very loud noises to try to entertain said squalling baby)
8:30 am-still trying to wake Lindsay...threatening her to never stay up late again
8:35 am-mommy gets in shower and hurriedly tries to get semi-clean
8:39-1 1/2 legs shaved, hair mostly clean...mommy gets out of shower to see why Haley is screaming again and Jared and Lindsay are fighting over who will entertain screaming baby...**eyes roll**
8:40-mommy gets dressed with Haley hanging on my ankles. (try putting pants on like that) and wads hair into a big clip with Haley hanging on same never mind
8:50-carry Haley (on my hip-her happy place) into kitchen to make a one-handed breakfast for Jared and Lindsay (who are usually dressed and ready for the day by this point)...when Jared realizes it's cereal AGAIN. He wishes for something else...too bad
9:00 am(hopefully)-starting school. cue screaming baby again...trying to teach Jared and Lindsay how to do things I barely remember while shouting over baby.
12:28pm (sparing you all the details of our school life-you should be thankful for small favors)-Harold calls and asks How it's going...puhlease...let me tell you buster
12:35-Harold is now sorry he ever called, let alone asked how things were going. He now knows how things are going (and yet he will ask again this brain damage?)
12:37-fixing lunch for children with baby on my hip and still trying to talk to Harold while explaining to Jared and Lindsay why they are having sandwiches again for lunch. I really don't know why, other than when I try new things they don't like them!
12:55-Harold says he must go, he's back at work...oh, okay...
1:30-I have put baby in bed after feeding her and changing her and hugging her and she is now screaming herself to sleep (I don't think Dr. Ferber had children of his own) and I am about to cry...but instead I will eat a lean cuisine-that is comfort food, right? NOT What I really want is COOKIES! (said like Cookie Monster)
1:45-I want to play a game with the kids or read to them...but I am worn out. So, we all go to our respective rooms (except Lindsay who is booted out of hers and must stay in the living room due to sleeping Haley)
1:50-mommy yells at Jared because he has now gone to the bathroom 3 times since we went to our rooms.
1:55-mommy quietly yells at Jared to close his door if he is going to play with that noisy toy...
2:00-mommy puts her book down and dozes for a little bit before Haley-girl wakes up
3:00ish-everyone gets up/comes out and then we start getting ready for soccer practice. Unless it is Tuesday, then we get a break! Woohoo!!
5:30/6:30 (depending on day)-soccer practice is over and it's time to come home and do supper, bath and fun fun
7:30-Jared is out of the shower and needs underwear (clean ones) Before this is over he will have said the word "underwear" 23 times and I will threaten him that if he says it again I will make sure he never has clean underwear again...
9:00-kids are supposed to be in bed except Haley who has decided she is now ready to play nicely and happily in the living room floor...mommy gives up
9:30-try to find a place for Lindsay to have peace while Haley learns (loudly) to put herself to sleep since she beats mommy up while rocking.
10:00-Aaaah, Haley is asleep! Lindsay can go to her bed...Jared is asleep!!!

12:30-Haley is awake. Neeeeeeeeeds milkies...**eyes rolling** will starve to death without it **ha ha** Fine...have milkies...
2:45-Haley is awake..neeeeeeeds milkies! will starve to death w/o it. Nope! I win this one
4:30-Haley is awake...this time I give her milkies hoping to buy myself the workout time in the real morning (the sane person's morning time)
6:30-didn't work. but luckily Harold brings her to bed where I can nurse her before I get up and put her to bed and start back at the beginning.

Sorry that was so long...but that's how my days are-L-O-N-G! But, the years are short. I am sooo blessed. I just have a hard time seeing that from the trenches of mommy-dom. My children are wonderful (really they are) and I couldn't imagine life without them. What did I used to do with my days and evenings anyways? I know at night I slept... I want to enjoy these years however I don't know that I will remember them. I think it will be like when you've been drugged. I think one day I will wake up and they will be grown and I will think "Where am I?" I'm afraid I will wish I'd played more and nagged less...I need the serenity prayer, but can't seem to remember it...So, I pray "Please God..." and that's all that will come to me. I'm glad He already knows.

Next time (soon hopefully) there will be less complaining on my part and some pictures that you can actually enjoy. I prob'ly shouldn't click "publish"-should just delete this sad story...but aren't blogs supposed to be real?


Tamara said...

oh Cara I so don't want to my day in writing are a great I have told you before I dont' know how you handle all you do you are truly amazing

squirrelgirl said...

I see my future in your post! I'm already having trouble staying home with one... And she's a lot like your littlest one - pulling up and generally WAY too active for a 6 1/2 month old. Hang in there and be sure to count your blessings every day! ~~ Wudgie from TWW

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