Sunday, November 4, 2007

I pray...

I find myself constantly wishing days away and I feel really sad about it when I catch myself. I am always counting the hours until bedtime (or even rest time). But by doing this I am wasting the "stuff that life is made of" and missing out on the blessing of time with my children. I chose to be a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) and I want to be here and can't imagine being anywhere else-would miss my kids terribly and wonder all day what they are doing and if they are hurt (physically or emotionally) but that's not to say that it's not hard work-and so draining. Everyone tells you you should take time for yourself, but where do you get it? I have found some time lately to run-which is nice to get out by myself.

I pray that God will help me to remember the days when I longed for toys strewn about my house-because there were almost 4 1/2 years when I wanted that more than life itself-literally. I also pray that He will help me to remember what a privelege it is to get the chance to raise 3 children for Him-after all they are not MINE. He has entrusted them to me! I pray that I will not do anything that will scar them for life (or at least nothing that's worthy of being on Oprah in 20 years-or worse, Jerry Springer!) I pray that they will have happy memories mostly-and have amnesia over the tough times-and that I will have that same amnesia! I pray that they all call me because they want to when they are grown and have lives and families of their own. But most of all I pray that they will be happy, well adjusted people one day who love God first and their family second. This is what I want for my children-not to flounder about for years like most of us do trying to find the right way. I want them to know that loving God and serving Him is about a relationship, not a list of rules that they must follow to a "T" or be doomed.

Sorry for the heavy post...I know that usually I try to keep it silly or lighthearted, but this is a big deal to me. My biggest fear in life is to fail as a mother. No other failure affects other lives the way failing as a mother does. I have 3 little people that depend on me to be what they need. Can I???

Pictures coming soon!! I have some, I'm just too lazy (or maybe it's too late ;) ) to get them onto the computer tonight!

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