Saturday, September 19, 2009

When Life...

hands you lemons, squeeze them into your water because it *supposedly* will make your ankles less bowling-ball-ish sized. Only, it doesn't really work so much.
But apparently, cutting waaay back on your sodium intake can help said problem. When I went to see my dr last week (for my 26 week check up) she was not too happy with the size of my ankles, hands, face, etc. What amuses me was that she didn't seem too put off by the size of my belly. It's the size of a belly expecting, say, quintuplets. And believe me, I hear it regularly.
"Are you sure there is only one in there?"
"You're due in December? Maybe they have the dates wrong!"
and all the other comments that go along that line. What amazes me is that at no other time in a woman's life would someone feel that they should comment on her size/weight. Except when she is pregnant. This is also the time when she is very unsure of herself and (dare I say) emotionally/hormonally unstable! Why would this be a good time to point out just how big she is? And the thing is I (as well, I'm sure, most pregnant women out there) KNOW that I'm carrying around a belly that is gargantuan. You know how I know this? I carry it around. My back aches. My legs ache. I can't shave the achy legs...

Now, here is where I stop complaining about being pregnant and remind myself...there are women out there (I used to be one of them) to whom this all sounds like a wonderful dream. To feel all of these things. To throw up every morning-oh and the rest of the day too, because morning sickness was a term coined by a man I'm quite sure (they won't love going through it when it happens, but it's still a dream) and to have kicks and jabs that hurt! Women who have never been blessed to carry a baby in their tummy. I get kind of sucked into my little world of pregnancy complaints until I run into someone who has never had this blessing. So what if it's not fun. It's still a blessing! In the end it will all be worth it! And it must be, or all children would be "onlies". :)

All that said, there are problems (associated with pregnancy??) that are not physical. The other day I had a no-good rotten horrible day. Everything overwhelmed me and made me mad and sad. It wasn't limited to things that *should* make a person mad or sad...anything that was required of me in any way made me feel as if I could not survive the day. Thankfully I had some good friends who were praying for me and others who were listening and noticing. It goes a LONG way. It's a feeling I'm not unfamiliar with. But usually it comes after the baby-depression. It really scared me to feel those feelings while pregnant. I'd love to make it through this pregnancy medicine free-that is my goal. Thankfully, it seems to have subsided. I don't know what it was, but I'm thankful that it seems to be gone for the moment. I have decided that for right now, the course of treatment is: being kind to myself. I am going to do my best to really just not expect more of me than I can give. If that means slowing down on our school work a little, then that's what has to happen. If that means we don't go to something that we are supposed to be at? So be it. I have to do the best I can to be a good mom to the three children that I have as well as the one on the way.


squirrelgirl said...

Oh, Cara {{{hugs}}} I'm so sorry you've had a tough time. I remember the "psycho" days very well, where nothing was right and nthing could make me happy. You CAN get through the next few months, you have lots of support if you need it. If you ever need to talk, you can e-mail or PM me for my phone #. Hang in there!

gina said...

That post makes me cry - for many reasons. Sad you are going through it. And sad because I have felt it myself and have not forgotten.

And those feelings aren't just during pregnancy. It seems every month is going up, coming down and riding that train on every level in-between. But pregnancy definitely amplified that ride for me.

So, I'm sorry it is hard. You have a great attitude though. All you can do is DO YOUR BEST. The Lord knows your thoughts, your intentions, your heart - (this makes me so grateful and relieved!!) - Your best is always good enough with HIM.

I've never thought about that - how people comment on your weight, your looks etc. etc. because you are pregnant - but (hopefully) wouldn't otherwise. That makes no sense. I remember getting the '"due-date must be wrong'" comment. It bugged me so bad -

Take care friend. - Go take another hot bath,- JUST FOR YOU... (no splashing). I think I was up to 3 baths/day by the end of my last pregnancy !

Blog Archive