Did you ever have one of those days? One of those days when you feel like a dog chasing it's tail? Today was one of those days-or maybe it's been this year. The whole year has been spent chasing my tail. And it feels as stupid as it looks. I'm tired of running, running, running and never getting anywhere. I love my life as mommy and wife and all that, but I'd like to feel accomplished at the end of the day. Part of me knows all the sayings about reaping the rewards in 18 years or whatever, but I need some kind of paycheck now. Something that says I'm doing something that matters. That I'm not just wearing myself out and looking stupid for no reason.
It would be one thing if any one thing actually got accomplished in a day's time. But, our school work is not done (thinking we'll have to forego our first week-long break of the year at the end of October-I had it all planned out. What happened?), the house is a disaster. Every time I enter one of the bathrooms I think "As soon as I get {such and such} done or {so and so} settled I'm going to clean this bathroom." Well, it's been longer than I care to admit now. It's not done.
Where does all this tiny little stuff come from? All the stuff that litters the floor day after day? The stuff that the kids obviously don't care about-or it would be picked up, right? And even my husband seems content to just step over the stuff. To walk around it. Am I the only one bothered by it? I'm thinking so. If I don't do it, it don't get done! I walk through my house and think I'll surely find one room that has some semblance of order. Not one room is the way it's "supposed" to be. There are mommy-dos in every room. Waiting on me. And if you're wondering why I'm not doing it right now instead of complaining about it...I'll tell you. It's because all 4 of my cherubs are sleeping. And I'm not doing ANYthing that might wake them up.
And one would think that I'd be losing weight with all that tail chasing going on...
Well, it's late. I think I'll go turn around 3 or 4 times and lay down in my bed.
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