Saying Goodbye

This year has had it's share of goodbyes, more accurately, the last few months. We've said goodbye to friends, relatives we visited (yes, I know, it might not be forever, but it might be!)
And this weekend we said goodbye to this girl:

Daphne. For months something has been "off". In fact there was a short period of time that I was terrified to take her to the veterinarian just in case it was bad news. I just couldn't face it. But within a couple of days my husband found her ear looked infected so we breathed a sigh of relief and took her in on a Sunday morning, paying the extra cost of a weekend visit for our girl, thinking she would feel better and start playing and eating again. And she did seem to rally just a little bit! Yay! Then, it was clear that things were not looking good again but her ear looked fine this time!? After some bloodwork our vet (who was awesome through this whole entire ordeal, she is amazing in her "bedside" manner and thoughtfulness as she is assessing her patients) thought it looked to be something akin to a tick borne illness (and although she was never covered in ticks or fleas-in fact I never ever saw even one on her!-they can get very sick from a tick biting them briefly and then falling off) so we began another round of *stronger* antibiotics. By this time our girl was looking painfully thin (emaciated) so we were taking her back often for weight checks, etc. The vet is starting to get more alarmed and wanted to do x-rays (which she did for FREE!). Not good news. Stomach falls. Heart beating a little harder-in your mouth.
But, we kept up with the meds, "just in case" the mass we saw around her lung was infection related (couldn't hurt anything and just maybe it would make her better!?). But within days of this consult she started going downhill extremely fast and by this past Saturday night she had lost the use of her hind legs and was just looking at me like "help me". It was awful. My husband and I faced the reality that Sunday morning had to be the end of it. For her. We wanted to try to nurse her through Christmas at least, but there was no way.
So, RIP Daphne, you were and are well-loved and missed more than you can know. I am choosing to believe that you are in heaven (although I don't know what I really believe about animals and eternity) because if any dog was welcomed in, it would be YOU. I miss your dog-stink girl. Hope you can chase that ball again up there.....