Thursday, February 28, 2013


We've all seen the commercials. The ones advertising for this anti-depressant or that. How it can turn your world from walking around with an umbrella under a dark cloud to frolicking in a field of flowers with singing birds....

But you would be surprised to know just how many people you know-regular people!- deal with depression on a regular basis.

At it's worst it's debilitating. Controlling every aspect of your life. Weighing you down like a ton of bricks. Taking away everything positive in your life (or at least your ability to see and feel the positives in your life). It's awful. A nightmare.

And it spills. Onto those around you. Hurting them and leaving them feeling like they aren't "enough".

I've heard many "solutions" for my depression:
  • Pray. Just pray about it and if you're a "good" Christian it will get better.
  • Fake it til you make it. Just smile and you'll start to feel better.
  • Exercise. Exercise raises your endorphins and will take away your depression.
  • Eat right. If you eat this or don't eat that....
  • Do something nice for yourself.
Guess what? Tried most of them. Maybe not whole-heartedly because when you're in the throes of depression (chemical depression, not just a sad day or the "blues") You kind of can't really function like a "normal" person. No amount of prayer has worked for me (in fact, that's a sure sign I'm not where I need to be with it is when I can't pray. Just CAN'T.) Fake it. Ha. And fake it til I feel it? Not gonna happen. Exercise...laugh. out. loud. When you can't get off the couch to save your life? Eat right. Ummm, I'm doing good if I eat. And if I get started....what do you mean an entire box of Ice Cream Drumsticks isn't "right"? Do something for what? Take a shower? Too much energy required.

Do you get the point? It's impossible! Everything is impossible when you're depressed. Every noise is too loud and overwhelming (try that with 4 kids!). Every movement is a sensory overload. Anything touches you? Makes you want to scream! Nothing "works right". Scatter-brained much! No cohesive pattern to the thought processes, can't remember my own name sometimes. And I am not myself. I don't feel like me.

For my depression I take medication. I'm very blessed that mine is a "simple" fix....I won't tell you which one I take because I'm not here to advertise medications for depression. I'm just saying, if you feel any of the above, ask for help! My doctor told me once (after an ill-fated attempt at trying to go off of my medication cold-turkey) "Why shouldn't you start off every day with the same tools that everyone else has?" (meaning serotonin in the proper levels coursing through my body) Sure, I have good days and bad days still (just like anyone). I still "feel". I get angry, I get sad, I get frustrated...but on a normal level!

And with my treatment I ALSO feel happy, glad, loved, amused, joyful....

1 comment:

squirrelgirl said...

I'm glad you've found something that works for you! Untreated depression is a difficult thing to watch in someone you care about, and I can't even begin to imagine how it feels to experience it first-hand. Your doctor is correct - I wouldn't be able to function without my thyroid medication, and your chemical imbalance is no different.

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