She Dropped Her Dolly...

no, not in the dirt, but worse actually. Haley had gotten a "new" baby-actually she got it at a resale (thrift) store and loved this doll. Such a cheap dollar store doll but she LOVED her. And it was the first doll she had ever named. Sunshine. (yeah, I know, kinda 60s...but it was sooo cute to hear her talking to and playing with Sunshine). So, yesterday we went to Port Aransas -a 20 minute or so drive + a ferry ride away. We decided, after eating lunch, to hit what was supposed to be a consignment store and souvenir store. Really, it was a tiny store full of breakables connected to a thrift store. So, we poked around for a few minutes (might've been longer except there was no a/c in this place...the heat index was 111 yesterday, so no. We didn't stay) and of course Haley laid her doll down somewhere. We did not realize this until we had walked back to the van-at the restaurant and gone to another souvenir store (which we quickly left due to really bad words on shirts/glasses/etc). At this point it's well into naptime, everyone was hot and tired...we think Sunshine might be missing. We were sure to spell everything so Haley was not aware of what we suspected. Then we drove home.
Little did I know this had affected my daughter so deeply. No, not the one that the doll belonged to. Lindsay. She came to me in the middle of the night sobbing! Literally sobbing!!!! She was so sad that Sunshine was gone. She told me "Mom, I know it's silly...it's just a doll. But I keep thinking of when she wanted Sunshine (the night before) and looked under her bed thinking she'd be there" This poor child. It was not for herself but for her little sister and her missing favorite doll. So, I spent the next 2 hours trying to decide if I should drive back out to Port Aransas today and try to retrieve said dolly. I'm thinking "no" because the odds that we'd find that doll in that thrift store are sooooo low....but how sad is this situation?

**side note** last night Haley got a light flick on the mouth from her daddy for repeatedly telling him "No" when he told her to do something....she didn't miss a beat but told him "teep a hands a self"!!! LOL

this morning Harold and Haley and Jared were all standing by the kitchen counter ogling the muffins I had made from scratch a package and Haley didn't like how Jared was encroaching on her "closest to daddy" position and pushed him away saying "best friend daddy"!!!! How funny is that???

Monday's Dr Appt

After about 5 agonizing minutes the dr was able to find the heartbeat of my little one. Somewhere in the 150s it was beating away right behind the placenta. :) I am feeling him or her move very occasionally. Started last week prob'ly but I wasn't sure enough to really say it "out loud". Now? It's still faint, and maybe a first time momma wouldn't quite attribute it to the baby but it is, it sure is! I remember this! This is the time when the movements are the best thing in the world. Later in the game they are not so fun ;) When the baby is a little more, dare I say, violent?!? It's still extremely reassuring and you're glad that it's happening...it just...hurts! But I'll take it all if it means my little one is healthy and growing.

14 weeks down and 24 to go...but who's counting?

Oh, and we **should** get to find out what this little one is in about 4 weeks...now that's something to count down to!!!! :)

Forever

Forever 19.
Forever gone-
from this world.
Forever in our hearts.
And...
forever will June be such a bittersweet month.
The month he was born
And...
The month he suddenly. Inexplicably. Left.
No warning. No good-byes.
Eric Levi Montgomery
June 6, 1988-June 19, 2007

I Think...

that the Gosselins should sit down and have a long chat with the Duggars about what makes for a happy family. Maybe they could learn a few things about how to treat each other and what their priorities should be when you have a large family. So sad for the Gosselins....so happy for the Duggars!!!

http://www.nationalledger.com/artman/publish/article_272626531.shtml

Such Unpredictability!

I think that Haley takes after her daddy...I can never predict what she'll like or not like, be afraid of or not...it's crazy!
Today, we went to the Corpus Christi Museum of Science and History because Jared's scout pack was meeting there and because it was a free day at the Museum (I think Lindsay figured it up and it would've been like $40 to go normally!) So, we had somewhere fun for the kids and air conditioned to be for like 3 1/2 hours! Can't beat that, now can ya?
So, they were having this water thing there (trying to get people to be more aware of waste and pollution, etc-we are always in a drought here) and the kids had the most fun running around to each little "booth" set up around the museum and getting the free stuff (from candy to coloring books to mugs to highlighters! and more!). Here's the part about Haley that surprised me: there were some "characters" in costumes and she LOVED them! Most 2 year olds I know of (including my other two-who were overall less high maintenance than Haley) don't like 5-7 foot characters with big things over their heads! Her favorite was the bee:

(Bumbeeeebeee) and she kept going up to him all by herself even. It definitely gave me a laugh--and gave me hope as we plan to go to Disney next year. It'll be really fun if we can get her picture with the characters without her crying and trying to get away!

Some more funny Haley-isms: When we were getting into the van to leave she was fighting with me about her carseat-she never does this!? And I told her "I'm not playing these games with you", so the rest of the time she was CRYING and saying "Play games mama". LOL How do you explain to a 2 year old that there are no games to play, it was just a saying! :)

On the way home we were trying to keep her awake and talking to her about the suckers she'd consumed from the "booths" and I asked her how many she'd had and she said "two" (actually it was three, but ok) and then she said "fight daddy candy". What?? Turns out that when she tried to run off with a sucker stick hanging out of her mouth we said "no way". So, Harold took off to get her to come back or give up the sucker and they "fought" LOL!!!!

A good day all in all. Lots of laughs and something to do. Lately? That's enough! :)

I Remember!

In the night I attempted to force Haley to go back to her own bed. I remember why it's not worth it. I was up for almost 3 hours in the night. I'm already dealing with some level of insomnia from pregnancy and this did not help. By the time she quit crying and her and Lindsay were back to sleep...I was wide awake. Left to contemplate my guilty feelings for forcing something on her that wasn't right for either of us. I was to the point of wishing I could go and scoop her sleeping little self up out of her bed and put her back in my bed. I didn't, but I wanted to.
So, this morning she woke up. Still in a bad mood. Still very tearful. The problem is not behavioral either. I don't know of any 2 year old that would lay in their bed wide awake waiting til they can fall back asleep. (This was all contemplated after I had spanked her and been very "firm" with her...and at that point felt as if I could not "back down"). So, I sat rocking in the chair we've put in her room while she tossed and turned and alternately laid there quietly and cried. I fought every instinct in me (plus the part of me that was so tired and just wanted to be in my bed) to go and cuddle her up. I wish, this morning, that I had gone with my instincts!
Another thing she's not ready for that I keep pushing her with is potty training. She's not ready. She has yet to even pee on the potty (maybe once) and we already have so many struggles in life...
You'd think I'd learn. Maybe with the next baby.

We're Going to the...

beach, we're going to the beach!!! Do I loooovve the beach? No. and it doesn't love me (sun)...but we're getting out of this house for a day! That, I can love! This is our final field trip for this school year and so we'll be seeing our homeschool friends and learning a little about "beach life" (not that of a beach bum, but the actual wildlife that is at the beach! ;))
Hopefully I'll have some pics for posting later, but last time I took my camera it got sand and water in it. Not a good combination of things to carry around in your digital camera. (This is a different one, needless to say!) That was when I was pregnant with Haley...and the damage showed up right around the time I was due to have her. Yeah! A new baby and no camera! Woohoo! Hopefully I can do a better job of protecting my camera this time.

Scary Stuff

So, I got on here to complain about summer doldrums. The kids have been out of school for a couple of weeks and already they are driving me nuts. They are either fighting, watching tv, fighting about watching tv or saying they're bored. Sounds like a long summer ahead, huh? But, I saw one of the blogs I read regularly had a new post so I decided to read that first. Here it is. Now, this is of interest mostly to those of us who homeschool, but scares me on so many levels.

We are on our way to no longer being the "land of the free". When I have to answer to government officials/standards about my children's education. Are they my children? Or do they then belong to the government? Now, I'm not talking about not answering to anyone at all...I get that they have to make sure kids are getting a fare shake in this world and are getting educated. Shame on those parents who let their children raise/educate themselves and call that homeschooling. It gives the rest of us a bad name. But, I'm talking about us parents who are doing a great job (**pats self on back here**) and our children are at or above where they need to be. I spend my $$ every year on good curriculum (money that is not reimbursed to me in any way by any government institution and for which I get no discount on the property taxes which I pay yearly to support the public school system, whether we use it or not) for my children so that they are a) learning what they need to learn and b) not being indoctrinated with filth and lies. Oh, that's the problem I guess. My kids are not getting an indoctrination into secular humanism. Okay. Maybe I do need someone to test my children and fill in the gaps.

It's already bad enough that (in our state at least) your children only have so many days a year that they are allowed to be sick (or out for any reason) without going into some kind of a hearing. If you need or want to take your children out of school you must first have permission. Excuse me? Whose children? Oh, that's because the school gets money for each little bottom filling a seat. So what if they are learning...as long as they are there and the school gets their precious dollar for that bottom in that seat. And as long as they can answer the question on the TAKS test, who cares what else they know? Because when they answer the question on the TAKS test (or any state test for that matter) the school gets kudos for that! It doesn't really matter if they know the answers or just make the pattern on the bubbles you fill out cute-as long as the answer is right (when the computer grades it)! That's the goal. God-forbid that I'm teaching my children on a daily basis and in a one-on-one situation and I know (without any bubbles or computers) whether they know it or not.

(*For the record: I have not taught my children to disrespect the president. I have told them that although we disagree heartily with Barack Obama he is our president. I certainly didn't wish for him to be in that position or vote for it, but through the process deemed fair and reasonable by our ancestors/founding fathers...he is.)

Apparently this was worse to me than the summer doldrums. Much worse. For this is permanent. And scary. And so many Americans are buying into it.

*****Disclaimer: I'm not in any way putting down teachers in schools! They signed up to teach children. Most prob'ly not having a clue of the beauracracy that would hound them day after day to teach to the tests. I have a lot of respect for the teachers that are out there doing their best and working for such a meager living to teach the children of other people-some of whom don't give a rat's behind if their children learn, as long as they don't have to deal with them all day long.

*****Second disclaimer: (Ugggg, I'm getting sick of defending everything I say lest it might be misconstrued and hurt someone's feelings) I don't suggest that all parents send their kids to school just to get them out of their hair. Notice that I emphasized SOME! Because I know that homeschooling is not for all families and I would never ever in a million years suggest that someone who does not homeschool is less than a loving, involved parent.