Busy? Yes. But that's not the real story. I just figured it out a couple of days ago why I have not blogged in...a long time. And I'm not happy with my discovery.
I have always loved doing my blog-however irregular. Never mind the fact that everyone else's blog seems to have answers. Mine usually has questions. Everyone else's blog seems to have a set purpose whereas mine is usually kind of "jack of all trades master of none"...kind of like my life. But my last post was at the end of April.
Here's the deal:
There are people in my life that I value their opinion. One of those people (nameless-but it doesn't matter as you'll soon see) didn't show much interest in my blog when I tried explaining it and showing it. Therefore it must not be valuable, right? Then, that started me to thinking about my comments section and how it usually has very few if any comments. If no one reads my blog and finds it comment worthy then why do I write it? If this one person who has always shown interest in my ventures (sometimes negative but usually, overwhelmingly positive) didn't think it was valuable enough to even really give more than a passing glance...maybe it's a waste of time. Maybe it's dumb. Maybe I should just let it go.
The reason this is disturbing to me is because:
1) I am 35 years old and apparently am still doing things based on admiration/approval from others.
2) I love to write, why would I stop one of the few outlets I have for writing!?
3) Before this, I loved my blog. Why would I let anyone's lack of interest decide if I keep doing something I love?
So, I'm back. I don't even know if anyone really reads this...if they ever did...or if they've lost interest b/c I was gone...but I will write. Whether anyone finds it "worthy" or not...Shouldn't it be enough that I find it worthy? And I good place to pose my questions and ponder my crazy life?