hands you lemons, squeeze them into your water because it *supposedly* will make your ankles less bowling-ball-ish sized. Only, it doesn't really work so much.
But apparently, cutting waaay back on your sodium intake can help said problem. When I went to see my dr last week (for my 26 week check up) she was not too happy with the size of my ankles, hands, face, etc. What amuses me was that she didn't seem too put off by the size of my belly. It's the size of a belly expecting, say, quintuplets. And believe me, I hear it regularly.
"Are you sure there is only one in there?"
"You're due in December? Maybe they have the dates wrong!"
and all the other comments that go along that line. What amazes me is that at no other time in a woman's life would someone feel that they should comment on her size/weight. Except when she is pregnant. This is also the time when she is very unsure of herself and (dare I say) emotionally/hormonally unstable! Why would this be a good time to point out just how big she is? And the thing is I (as well, I'm sure, most pregnant women out there) KNOW that I'm carrying around a belly that is gargantuan. You know how I know this? I carry it around. My back aches. My legs ache. I can't shave the achy legs...
Now, here is where I stop complaining about being pregnant and remind myself...there are women out there (I used to be one of them) to whom this all sounds like a wonderful dream. To feel all of these things. To throw up every morning-oh and the rest of the day too, because morning sickness was a term coined by a man I'm quite sure (they won't love going through it when it happens, but it's still a dream) and to have kicks and jabs that hurt! Women who have never been blessed to carry a baby in their tummy. I get kind of sucked into my little world of pregnancy complaints until I run into someone who has never had this blessing. So what if it's not fun. It's still a blessing! In the end it will all be worth it! And it must be, or all children would be "onlies". :)
All that said, there are problems (associated with pregnancy??) that are not physical. The other day I had a no-good rotten horrible day. Everything overwhelmed me and made me mad and sad. It wasn't limited to things that *should* make a person mad or sad...anything that was required of me in any way made me feel as if I could not survive the day. Thankfully I had some good friends who were praying for me and others who were listening and noticing. It goes a LONG way. It's a feeling I'm not unfamiliar with. But usually it comes after the baby-depression. It really scared me to feel those feelings while pregnant. I'd love to make it through this pregnancy medicine free-that is my goal. Thankfully, it seems to have subsided. I don't know what it was, but I'm thankful that it seems to be gone for the moment. I have decided that for right now, the course of treatment is: being kind to myself. I am going to do my best to really just not expect more of me than I can give. If that means slowing down on our school work a little, then that's what has to happen. If that means we don't go to something that we are supposed to be at? So be it. I have to do the best I can to be a good mom to the three children that I have as well as the one on the way.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
What to do?
There's nothing to do but laugh when your two-year old sings at you:
"I see your hiney and shiny! I'm gonna bite it"
With all my negativity lately (can you blame me? Sleep deprivation can make a girl cranky-especially 2 1/2 years of it with more to come!) I really feel the need to focus on some positive, funny things. and I kept thinking that just fit the bill.
"I see your hiney and shiny! I'm gonna bite it"
With all my negativity lately (can you blame me? Sleep deprivation can make a girl cranky-especially 2 1/2 years of it with more to come!) I really feel the need to focus on some positive, funny things. and I kept thinking that just fit the bill.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
I. Must. Get. Some. Sleep.
Yes, I do get to sleep some. But not enough. Between the aches and pains of pregnancy (yes, I know it's a blessing to be carrying this life inside of me, but sometimes it's still uncomfortable) and my daughters, I feel like a zombie every morning. I also feel irritated and snappy at them. Not at Jared-he sleeps in his bed. In his lifetime I don't think he's woken me as many times as the girls do in a month's time.
When I hear people talk of their 1 month old sleeping through the night I just want to scream. Haley is 2 1/2 and Lindsay is 9 1/2. When do my babies sleep through the night?
Our solution "for now" (over a year ago) was to allow Haley to come into our bed in the middle of the night if that's what she needed. It was going great. She wouldn't come in til after 3 am usually...no biggie. The problem? She's moved it up to 12am. Yes. That's right before I fall asleep. So, no sleeping without a child in between us. Kicking us. Slapping us. Crying out in her sleep.
Then, the 9 year old wakes and finds that she is "alone" (ummm, our house is 1000 square feet in total!?) so she comes in and makes a pallet on the floor. So, during my 90th trip to the bathroom during the night, I trip over her.
This all makes for a VERY. LONG. NIGHT. in our house. And for one tired, grumpy mama.
Yes, I do get to sleep some. But not enough. Between the aches and pains of pregnancy (yes, I know it's a blessing to be carrying this life inside of me, but sometimes it's still uncomfortable) and my daughters, I feel like a zombie every morning. I also feel irritated and snappy at them. Not at Jared-he sleeps in his bed. In his lifetime I don't think he's woken me as many times as the girls do in a month's time.
When I hear people talk of their 1 month old sleeping through the night I just want to scream. Haley is 2 1/2 and Lindsay is 9 1/2. When do my babies sleep through the night?
Our solution "for now" (over a year ago) was to allow Haley to come into our bed in the middle of the night if that's what she needed. It was going great. She wouldn't come in til after 3 am usually...no biggie. The problem? She's moved it up to 12am. Yes. That's right before I fall asleep. So, no sleeping without a child in between us. Kicking us. Slapping us. Crying out in her sleep.
Then, the 9 year old wakes and finds that she is "alone" (ummm, our house is 1000 square feet in total!?) so she comes in and makes a pallet on the floor. So, during my 90th trip to the bathroom during the night, I trip over her.
This all makes for a VERY. LONG. NIGHT. in our house. And for one tired, grumpy mama.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
I Promised....
So I will deliver-no, not the baby! That's another 16 weeks away (well, a little less now! woohoo!) but here's a belly picture. This is 22 weeks and 3 days. :)
In other areas:
I've been "working on" my girls' room for forever now. In fact, the painting was done right around the time I got pregnant. Ummm, I'm 5 1/2 months now. Still have a few things left to do, but the curtains are done (sewn by hand from material I had to retrieve from pillow shams and then put together so that the pieces were big enough to make into valances! Not an easy task-especially when I had to do it all by hand) They are simple, but that's fine. I'm going for less clutter and "foof" and more simplistic in all of our rooms. Well, that's the goal. ;)
Here's what I managed to get a picture of this morning:
The rest was not presentable at the time of my impromptu photo shoot. I don't know when I'll ever get a picture of it because by the time I get it MOMMY CLEAN the girls have undone what I did....the neverending battle. But, this gives the idea of what we're going for. :)
The other night the kids were having a blast in their kiddie pool. In all honesty, my first reaction was not a happy one when I saw them covered in mud, swimming in the pool like a couple of crocodiles. They were barely visible in the mire that was now their pool. But then I realized that you only get to be a kid once. And they were making the most of that moment. And hey, our backyard is so dead (from the drought and plumbing work) that it didn't matter in that sense either. :)
Since, surprise, surprise, Haley was not in on that escapade....here is a picture of her just for fun. :) Wearing her dew rag (is that the right form of dew?? do??)
In other areas:
I've been "working on" my girls' room for forever now. In fact, the painting was done right around the time I got pregnant. Ummm, I'm 5 1/2 months now. Still have a few things left to do, but the curtains are done (sewn by hand from material I had to retrieve from pillow shams and then put together so that the pieces were big enough to make into valances! Not an easy task-especially when I had to do it all by hand) They are simple, but that's fine. I'm going for less clutter and "foof" and more simplistic in all of our rooms. Well, that's the goal. ;)
Here's what I managed to get a picture of this morning:
The rest was not presentable at the time of my impromptu photo shoot. I don't know when I'll ever get a picture of it because by the time I get it MOMMY CLEAN the girls have undone what I did....the neverending battle. But, this gives the idea of what we're going for. :)
The other night the kids were having a blast in their kiddie pool. In all honesty, my first reaction was not a happy one when I saw them covered in mud, swimming in the pool like a couple of crocodiles. They were barely visible in the mire that was now their pool. But then I realized that you only get to be a kid once. And they were making the most of that moment. And hey, our backyard is so dead (from the drought and plumbing work) that it didn't matter in that sense either. :)
Since, surprise, surprise, Haley was not in on that escapade....here is a picture of her just for fun. :) Wearing her dew rag (is that the right form of dew?? do??)
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
I Have a Dream
A dream that my homeschool day will be full of peaceful children who WANT to learn.
-->Children who don't fight with me (about how or when or where to do their school work) or with each other (about whose pencil is whose, etc).
-->A toddler who likes to color.
-->A dog that doesn't daily traumatize us with her bird killing (right in front of our open blinds in the huge sliding door).
-->A mom that is calm and serene while teaching each and every subject in the time allotted. No subjects forgotten or just not included because of lack of time. All of the materials needed at hand each and every day for each and every lesson.
Hey, not all dreams can be reality, right? But I can dream....Until then, I'll live in the reality that is my world: utter chaos of people and things! Noise and clutter and craziness. And I will attempt to survive it.
-->Children who don't fight with me (about how or when or where to do their school work) or with each other (about whose pencil is whose, etc).
-->A toddler who likes to color.
-->A dog that doesn't daily traumatize us with her bird killing (right in front of our open blinds in the huge sliding door).
-->A mom that is calm and serene while teaching each and every subject in the time allotted. No subjects forgotten or just not included because of lack of time. All of the materials needed at hand each and every day for each and every lesson.
Hey, not all dreams can be reality, right? But I can dream....Until then, I'll live in the reality that is my world: utter chaos of people and things! Noise and clutter and craziness. And I will attempt to survive it.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Our Story
I don't think I've ever told this story on my blog and I probably should. Beginning our family was not as easy as it is for some people (although I now know it was also not as hard as it is for others). We got married in August of 1994-yup, it'll be 15 years in a couple of weeks! I wanted to start a family right away but knew that Harold was right to want to wait. We were very young and were actually sharing an apartment with his brother (for about 6 months). Better to wait. Ok, a year goes by and he says it's okay to start trying for a baby! Yay!!!!
Here is where I insert that I know he was not uber-excited about it, but was willing to go for it. I think he wanted a baby but it was very abstract to him.
So, we end any preventative measures and wait. They tell you in your health class in school that it only takes once, right? That it's so "easy" to get pregnant. Well, the years go by and NOTHING. I have had some issues all of my life (that I know now are called Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome) and that made it really difficult to conceive. So, we began the roller coaster of Clomid. Clomid is a fertility drug that is supposed to make you ovulate. Yay. Now, it'll be any time, right? Nope. Month after month of disappointment.
Here is where I insert (on behalf of Harold) that, at times, Clomid apparently made me a raging lunatic of a woman.
Now, in this time period there were times we had to forgo trying for a baby because Harold would have to work out of state-even if you're fertile Myrtle that does not lend to conceiving a baby. And I'm not.
Finally, in January of 1999 I found out that I was pregnant! Yahoo!!! But, I had this "irrational" fear that something would go wrong. Turns out I was right. I lost the baby in February of 1999. Not good. I then went through quite the rebellion against God and my body-shaking my fist at God and not treating my body very well. I was so angry. All the women who were pregnant and didn't want it...and I wanted nothing more than that baby.
Turns out, God had plans to bring me to my knees. After a couple of months of living like there was no God (but all the while knowing there is) and trying to ignore His existence, I went to my pastor and got things all worked out-I will forever be grateful to that pastor for telling me this, so simple but so profound: You do not have to like it, but you have to accept it. God did not expect me to be excited that I'd lost my baby but that I had to accept that it was His will. That was April 11, 1999. I was feeling much better and had faith that God would indeed bless us when the time was right.
The doctor gave me the go-ahead to try again (I had to wait for physical healing after the miscarriage) and after 2 months on the Clomid I conceived Lindsay! Her due date? Ready for chills?? April 11, 2000. Yep. A year to the day that I worked things out with God! How awesome is that?
Awesome pregnancy (no trouble-not even a moment of sickness!!!) and great birth experience! I nursed her for 13-14 mos when I decided I'd better stop and start trying to have another baby because we wanted them reasonably close together. We thought that it would take at least 2 months to get another one on the way, right? Well, after the first month of clomid I took a test at home and it was.....negative! Bummer, oh well. On to the next cycle, right? But you have to wait for the cycle. So, I went to the doctor for my annual check up and wait a minute...the test was what??? Positive!?
This pregnancy wasn't so easy but very healthy. The due date?? You won't believe it if I tell you! April 11, 2002! Again, same date! Coincidence? I think not. :)
I had to wait several years for Harold to be ready for a third and it came when I least thought it would. I had to go out of town for a wedding I was in. We decided to have Harold and the kids stay home as I was in the wedding and would not be able to care for the kids anyways and it was easier for him to take care of them at home. I figured that was it. Once he had to do it "all" for a whole weekend there would be no #3. I got home in the middle of the night and the next morning (when I'd had very little sleep) he told me that he wanted to have another one! I'm embarrassed to say that I hit him. Just on the arm, but still... I was so sure it was a mean joke. Nope! He told me that the kids were so much older and he realized how much he wanted to see all the baby stuff again (all the "firsts"). 3 months later we found out we were due to have a baby in February. Actually I was in Missouri with the kids when I found out. But there were problems. I was bleeding. And had to get home (a 2 day trip) before I could figure out what was going on. Needless to say, everything was okay-it was a case of placenta previa that cleared halfway through the pregnancy but caused more than a few heart stopping moments.
So, now we are 5! Complete! Right? We decided we did not want to have any more children. While we love the ones we have 3 was plenty to keep us busy.
Here is where God shows His hand again. I went off of my birth control because I'd tried to do a cleanse and felt so ill from it (but I was only going off of it long enough to start a different one as soon as possible). Next thing I know...I'm pregnant! What? I have to have Clomid to get pregnant, right? Isn't that how that works?
So, that's my story! I have learned through our reproductive story that I really have no control. Nor do I want it. Ok, so I still do try to hang onto some vestige of control most of the time...but I also am so amazed that Nathan is on the way after all of that! And so glad.
I know that was long (hey, it spans 14 years!) but really felt like sharing it. If you made it this far, thanks for reading! I think for my next post I might just do a belly picture. Don't worry, I'll cover the belly for the picture! ;)
Here is where I insert that I know he was not uber-excited about it, but was willing to go for it. I think he wanted a baby but it was very abstract to him.
So, we end any preventative measures and wait. They tell you in your health class in school that it only takes once, right? That it's so "easy" to get pregnant. Well, the years go by and NOTHING. I have had some issues all of my life (that I know now are called Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome) and that made it really difficult to conceive. So, we began the roller coaster of Clomid. Clomid is a fertility drug that is supposed to make you ovulate. Yay. Now, it'll be any time, right? Nope. Month after month of disappointment.
Here is where I insert (on behalf of Harold) that, at times, Clomid apparently made me a raging lunatic of a woman.
Now, in this time period there were times we had to forgo trying for a baby because Harold would have to work out of state-even if you're fertile Myrtle that does not lend to conceiving a baby. And I'm not.
Finally, in January of 1999 I found out that I was pregnant! Yahoo!!! But, I had this "irrational" fear that something would go wrong. Turns out I was right. I lost the baby in February of 1999. Not good. I then went through quite the rebellion against God and my body-shaking my fist at God and not treating my body very well. I was so angry. All the women who were pregnant and didn't want it...and I wanted nothing more than that baby.
Turns out, God had plans to bring me to my knees. After a couple of months of living like there was no God (but all the while knowing there is) and trying to ignore His existence, I went to my pastor and got things all worked out-I will forever be grateful to that pastor for telling me this, so simple but so profound: You do not have to like it, but you have to accept it. God did not expect me to be excited that I'd lost my baby but that I had to accept that it was His will. That was April 11, 1999. I was feeling much better and had faith that God would indeed bless us when the time was right.
The doctor gave me the go-ahead to try again (I had to wait for physical healing after the miscarriage) and after 2 months on the Clomid I conceived Lindsay! Her due date? Ready for chills?? April 11, 2000. Yep. A year to the day that I worked things out with God! How awesome is that?
Awesome pregnancy (no trouble-not even a moment of sickness!!!) and great birth experience! I nursed her for 13-14 mos when I decided I'd better stop and start trying to have another baby because we wanted them reasonably close together. We thought that it would take at least 2 months to get another one on the way, right? Well, after the first month of clomid I took a test at home and it was.....negative! Bummer, oh well. On to the next cycle, right? But you have to wait for the cycle. So, I went to the doctor for my annual check up and wait a minute...the test was what??? Positive!?
This pregnancy wasn't so easy but very healthy. The due date?? You won't believe it if I tell you! April 11, 2002! Again, same date! Coincidence? I think not. :)
I had to wait several years for Harold to be ready for a third and it came when I least thought it would. I had to go out of town for a wedding I was in. We decided to have Harold and the kids stay home as I was in the wedding and would not be able to care for the kids anyways and it was easier for him to take care of them at home. I figured that was it. Once he had to do it "all" for a whole weekend there would be no #3. I got home in the middle of the night and the next morning (when I'd had very little sleep) he told me that he wanted to have another one! I'm embarrassed to say that I hit him. Just on the arm, but still... I was so sure it was a mean joke. Nope! He told me that the kids were so much older and he realized how much he wanted to see all the baby stuff again (all the "firsts"). 3 months later we found out we were due to have a baby in February. Actually I was in Missouri with the kids when I found out. But there were problems. I was bleeding. And had to get home (a 2 day trip) before I could figure out what was going on. Needless to say, everything was okay-it was a case of placenta previa that cleared halfway through the pregnancy but caused more than a few heart stopping moments.
So, now we are 5! Complete! Right? We decided we did not want to have any more children. While we love the ones we have 3 was plenty to keep us busy.
Here is where God shows His hand again. I went off of my birth control because I'd tried to do a cleanse and felt so ill from it (but I was only going off of it long enough to start a different one as soon as possible). Next thing I know...I'm pregnant! What? I have to have Clomid to get pregnant, right? Isn't that how that works?
So, that's my story! I have learned through our reproductive story that I really have no control. Nor do I want it. Ok, so I still do try to hang onto some vestige of control most of the time...but I also am so amazed that Nathan is on the way after all of that! And so glad.
I know that was long (hey, it spans 14 years!) but really felt like sharing it. If you made it this far, thanks for reading! I think for my next post I might just do a belly picture. Don't worry, I'll cover the belly for the picture! ;)
Progress
I have not really had much to report lately-but that could be considered a good thing, right? Yesterday (Friday, August 14) I went to my regular OB check-up to see how the baby and I are doing. Good news? I stayed under the weight of a baby elephant! Yay for me! The baby is doing good and I LOVE LOVE LOVE my dr. I just cannot even say that enough. She is the best. She is so excited over the little stuff-the stuff that most obstetricians are "over" that it reminds me to be excited as well. When she hears that little heart beating on her doppler...she gets the biggest smile and kind of bobs her head to it. She sits and talks to me about whatever I want to talk about and tells me funny stories. I do NOT have to chase her down the hall to ask her any questions I might have concerning me or the baby or anything else! It's just plain awesome! Plus, I usually get out all by myself for these appointments. How could I not love it! ;) I also got some good news at my appointment. The hospital we went to with Haley and will go to with this little one has a policy of taking the baby to the nursery for his/her first bath, Vitamin K shot and all that good stuff (assessments, etc) and we went along with it. Not knowing that we had an option. My (new) dr told me that we don't have to do that! She gave me a paper with instructions on it on how to keep the baby with us at all times! I'm so excited about that. I will not have to A) Be left alone for hours while Harold goes and watches over the baby in the nursery B) Miss out on his first bath, etc like I did with Haley.
I am 21 weeks and 5 days today (Saturday, Aug 15). I have approximately 16 weeks to go-so way over half-way done!
We have tons of stuff for our little guy-clothes, the beginnings of a cloth diaper stash,
a carseat, a swing
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2452297 (only I got it at a resale shop for $55 rather than $139!), and a high chair! Plus we still have our crib from Haley. So, we're getting there! Oh, and it's almost time to break out the cradle-one of the few things I've intentionally saved from the very beginning of our parenthood journey. I had planned to save it for my grandchildren, but it may very well be worn out by then! But that's ok!
It's also time to start school. School room finished or not. We'll just have to move in when it's done. The kids are ready (Lindsay admits it, Jared not so much) and we need to get a move on since we don't know what this year will hold (with the baby coming and all). I've been working on our lesson plans and I think I've got a pretty good handle on it. It's going to be a challenging year for all of us to be sure. Each child is doing 2 math curricula this year-wasn't sure how transition them from one to another so we're going to plow through both. That sounds thorough, right? And a new History curriculum. It requires a little more of me as a teacher but hopefully will also elicit some excitement and hands on learning for the kids as they journey through time.
I am 21 weeks and 5 days today (Saturday, Aug 15). I have approximately 16 weeks to go-so way over half-way done!
We have tons of stuff for our little guy-clothes, the beginnings of a cloth diaper stash,
a carseat, a swinghttp://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2452297 (only I got it at a resale shop for $55 rather than $139!), and a high chair! Plus we still have our crib from Haley. So, we're getting there! Oh, and it's almost time to break out the cradle-one of the few things I've intentionally saved from the very beginning of our parenthood journey. I had planned to save it for my grandchildren, but it may very well be worn out by then! But that's ok!
It's also time to start school. School room finished or not. We'll just have to move in when it's done. The kids are ready (Lindsay admits it, Jared not so much) and we need to get a move on since we don't know what this year will hold (with the baby coming and all). I've been working on our lesson plans and I think I've got a pretty good handle on it. It's going to be a challenging year for all of us to be sure. Each child is doing 2 math curricula this year-wasn't sure how transition them from one to another so we're going to plow through both. That sounds thorough, right? And a new History curriculum. It requires a little more of me as a teacher but hopefully will also elicit some excitement and hands on learning for the kids as they journey through time.
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