I remember when a baby shower invitation could bring me to tears. Tears of sadness, frustration and wondering if it'd ever be my baby shower. I'm not necessarily proud of those feelings but infertility is a tricky thing. It hurts in an area where we (as women particularly) have a God-given desire. It's from the heart. No, it's not a physical need (as food, water, etc) but it is a longing and an emotional need.
I have now had my turn (several times over!) and happily go to other women's showers. It's a blessing to get to participate in the whole process! A girl at our Bible Study ("girl" because she's younger than me ;) ) is having her first baby and we had her shower last night. I volunteered to make the cake-as I have a desire to A. decorate cakes and 2. Over-schedule myself. I did enjoy it though, and it's such an ego-booster when people tell me how cute the cake is! :) Of course I see all of it's imperfections, but I'm glad others are not focused on that!
The other thing about this Baby Shower is I found out that a dear lady that belongs to our Bible Study-and hosts it at her house weekly-has dealt with the inability to have children. She has such a grace about it and you can feel her contentment. I admire this greatly. She says that her biggest issue is that she doesn't want people to leave her out of "women" things because she doesn't have children (discussions as well as baby showers and children's parties). She has made peace with the fact that she cannot and will not have children and I think that is such an admirable thing. To accept the blessings God has given you and to accept the ones that you are not meant to have. I see no bitterness in her or any envy...What a true lady! :)