Tuesday, November 18, 2008

"Seasonal" Friends

I know, at this time of the year we automatically think "Seasonal" means Christmas. That isn't what I'm referring to at all. I have learned over my life that certain friends are for a reason, certain friends are for a season. I've learned to let them go when the season or reason is over. Don't get me wrong, it's not a "using" situation, just a fact of life that in this day and age friendships do NOT last forever. Not only do people tend to move a lot, people are extremely busy and we just phase in and out of people's lives. It's sad, and at first I had a very difficult time with it...I don't know if it's more sad that I've gotten used to it, or if that's a good thing.
I guess the main thing I'm referring to right now is the friendships I cultivated online while pregnant with Haley and then we all stayed very close after the babies were born. It was such a sweet thing to know that you could go to this site and feel so comfortable letting it all out. These women knew exactly what you were going through. They were all going through it too (from morning sickness-all day, to sleepless nights, to toddlers driving us nuts-in the best way!) and we were all so close. But then the claws came out-is that inevitable in a group of women? No matter how close emotionally and no matter how far geographically? I'm sad to think that this is the norm.
Once the kid-gloves came off it was all over. Now there is ugliness about political views, SAHM vs. Working moms, and thoughts of someone w/in our group trolling for attention.
Last year at this time we were getting ready to celebrate our babies' first Christmases and exchanging addresses to do our Christmas ornament exchange. Now, there is animosity and ugliness...
The funny thing is, all this drama began right after we switched to a newly created (just for us) website called...of all things..."No Drama Mamas". Maybe we got too self-righteous about our peacefulness and lack of drama, maybe our season was just over. Good-bye February Mama group...it was great while it lasted. :*(


Kendra plus 2 said...

Aww Cara, please don't lose touch. I'll truly miss the friendship we've had. I still say the girls and Miss Haley could do some serious damage if put in the same room for more than 5 minutes LOL. You have my email address if you ever need it. *hugs*

Angie said...

I'm sorry that happened Cara =( I know how much you truly cherished those friendships... You're such a great friend, never forget that!!

Chrissy said...

Sorry you feel that way Cara. I think in most friendships you hit stormy patches, the trick is too learn how to ride out the storm. I wish you well in all you do!

carebear7951 said...

Thanks for the comments. It's not that I cannot handle rough patches in friendships...I have had those IRL and dealt with them. There has just been so much pettiness and ickiness that I see no reason to continue. I know that there has been some backstabbing and such...it's just not worth it, life is too short. I think I was truly so disappointed b/c I thought our group was different. And it turned out that we weren't really different after all. :( :( :(

carebear7951 said...

Oh, and I will miss many of you so much that it hurts...it's been quite a ride! I wish y'all well in all you do also. ((hugs))

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