Tuesday, December 28, 2010

New Year. New Undertakings. New Goals.

I've been thinking. (Yeah yeah, collective groaning...I can hear it-even if no one actually comments ;) ) There is so much in my life that is total chaos. Mayhem. And so much of it is my responsibility. I'm the mom after all. I know (from experience) that my mood and my actions set the tone for my family and household. Actually, I read that somewhere and started paying attention. It's true. If I'm in a mood everyone picks up on that mood. I hear my own attitude (tone) coming out of my kids' mouths and my husbands. Who'da thunk? But it's true.

Example: When I get really irritated with Haley, because she's being, well, 3 and Haley...I see that everyone takes that on. Everyone starts "yelling" at her (maybe not in volume but in tone they are yelling). They don't tend to see the cuteness of her. Just the annoyances. The bad stuff. However, if I set the tone for seeing her cuteness (and let's face it, she is stinkin' adorable!) others in the family tend to notice that more and the bad stuff less. (And we're working on the bad stuff.)

Another example? Okay. (And I know from talking to other moms that I'm not alone here.) Sometimes by the end of the day you're done. Done being "mommy", "mama", "Moooooooom", and so on. So, you are maybe a little grumpy at the kids-okay, so maybe you're not, but I am. By the time my dear husband comes in from a long day at work I'm ready for him to come in and NOT be grumpy at the kids. After all, he hasn't been with them all day. Dealt with the squabbles and tattling and constantness that is parenting. Right? But, if he walks in and I'm grouching at the kids (hoping he'll take the hint and step in...) he begins grouching at them right away!? What happened? My plan didn't work! Because I set the tone. Instead of saying "Hey, I'm really at the end of my rope here, can you take over for a few so I can breathe?" I've in essence told him that the kids are rotten and he should be mad at them. Or maybe it's that he's instantly mad at them because he's come home to a less than happy wife, a less than peaceful house. And that's not good.

So, there's a lot going on in my mind right now about how to make my world-and therefore my family's world-a lot happier in 2011.

1. Time management. I've gotten really sloppy in this area. I haven't been reading my Bible. I haven't been making time to exercise. I wait til the last minute to get ready for things-and then get mad at my kids if something goes wrong and makes us late. Ummm, I'm thinking I shouldn't have given us (a family with 4 kids) no room for error, huh? I should allow plenty of time for looking for that lost sippy cup or Scooby Croc.

2. Finances. We did the Financial Peace University class (Dave Ramsey) but we haven't put much into place regarding the program. I don't think that sitting in a classroom once a week for the duration of the program instantly fixes your financial woes. I think you actually have to FOLLOW the plan. So, we're really going to go after it. (Other than the trip to Disney World that we had already promised our kids...but we're not charging it....it will just cut into how much we can pay down our debt right off the bat). He calls it "gazelle intensity". Meaning every penny that we can scrape up goes into paying off our credit card debt.  This will mean sacrifice. This will also mean prioritizing and budgeting. Ouch.

3. Health. I've been really slacking in this area. I had started to get it under control (weight that is) and then I messed up my knee and had to back off of the exercising to let it heal. Well, it's better now. The excuses are gone. But here's the deal. Just like I said before, I see that I can set the tone in my household. It's my job to lead them into more healthful thinking. Exercising more. Eating less-and definitely less sugar and junk food. Desserts should be a special thing, not because it's a day of the week that ends in "y". I need to think of ways that are fun to exercise with Lindsay-soccer, running together, walks. Because at her age (she's almost 11 now) she needs time with me as well as to learn better how to care for her body.

4. Organization. Ugh. My house is a perpetual mess. I have 6 people, 1000 square feet. And a lot of stuff. That does not equal peace and order.  Thing is, I'm an "all or nothing" kind of person, so if I get self-control in the other areas (food, exercise, time, etc) I will naturally start to be more orderly and organized. I want to start keeping track of goals-long and short term and dreams and plans and working towards them. Checklists if you will. Things as simple as small updates on the house, weight loss goals or as big as trips we'd love to take later on in life, completing my education at some point...

And I think I found something that will help me to accomplish a lot of this. It's a new-to-me website! I'm so excited!!!! Ready?  Here is where you go to see it! It has directions for a Family notebook. That almost made me wet my pants! I love notebooks. Anything that involves school or office supplies just excites me. I'm a self-admitted nerd. I can't wait to print off my notebook an show you what it has in it. And to start chronicling some of the changes in our lives. The other thing I found is this. An online tool/website that will help me lose this nasty weight I started putting on when Haley was about 2. (As I weaned her I forgot to cut back on my caloric intake which equaled weight gain. Then I got pregnant. That didn't help-in case you wondered.)

So, I'm excited to make these changes. If you'll notice I didn't use the "r" word (you know: r-e-s-o-l-u-t-i-o-n) cause those are only made to be broken by, oh January 4th. ;)
P.S. Look for some changes in my blog too...I've got some brainstorming going!

3 comments:

Six Wilsons said...

Ok, I have just spent 25 minutes gazing at all the printables and articles on that website! I printed 5 copies of the menu planner with shopping list on it. This in intself could get addictive, lol. As a self proclaimed all or nothing kinda gal, I am right there with you.

Jenn said...

I think you've spoken the heart of most mom's out there! Great post!

gina said...

Did you write that or did I?? Ha ha. I could have. Those first few paragraphs could have been me and believe me, I feel your pain - right down to the understanding the chaotic life with a 3 year old (and 2 days into his being 4 isn't any different!). Chaos is a Mom's 'new normal' I've decided, and I don't like that at all. I want to be a Mom that has things closer to being in order.

What you said about the Mom setting the tone for the entire family, home and what Dad comes home to - I know that is totally true. (But no pressure, right!?) It's alright. We can do it. It is in our feminine makeup to have that ability. Just having the awareness has really helped me improve but I'm still figuring it out day by day. A work in progress.

I need to be reading my scriptures too - more than anything else - it has the power to ground me and give me strength for the entire day. That is going to be my big goal for 2011 - to give better time to the scriptures.

The family notebook thing sounds cool. I'll have to check it out.

Hope you had a wonderful Christmas. I'm looking forward to catching up with all my blog friends. I've been far too busy in December and haven't had my blog time. :) Thank you for your sweet comments you leave. It always makes my day.

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